depression

[holden]

Do you have to feel sad when you have Depression? I got very anxious and nervous when my Mother suddenly dyed ( at 92) overseas. Although i accept her death. my Doctor said it ids depression and i,am getting treatment for it.I am not crying or are down, i just could not relaxe. many jears ago i did have Depression with all the sad feelings, and didnt want to do anything, but this time its different. i,am now retired and the Kids are married. i should have no worries. Whats wrong?

[FC]

No, clinical depression does not mean you are depressed, sad and down emotionally. Depression can also include:

Feelings of irritability or tension
Change in interests
Change in appetite
Change in energy levels
Restlessness
Poor concentration

There are many things that can indicate depression and a large number of the symptoms do not actually have to do with being "depressed" in a way that seems cliche and "normal".

Just because it doesn't feel like you "should" or should not be depressed or have certain feelings doesn't mean you should and it also doesn't mean they won't come later on. Let your mind and emotions take their time in how they wish to take you on journeys, but be sure to continue to seek people both professional and personal to help you and don't think something is wrong or unnormal.

[WendyS]

I think "clinical depression" and "grief" are often confused with each other and the symptoms of one can be attributed to the other. Grief following the loss of a loved one can last many years, especially if the death happened in circumstances far away, where you could not be with the person when they died, or if it was a particularly distressing end. Feelings of sadness or unjustifiable guilt can suddenly jump out of nowhere and ambush you unexpectedly. even when everything else in your life is calm and unstressful. These are quite normal human emotions so don't beat yourself up about them. In time they will lessen and happen less frequently. You say you have now retired so your pace of life has changed and perhaps now with more time on your hands you have more time to think and reflect. Sometimes that inevitably leads to thoughts of the past and some of these can be sad. But now it's time to think optimistically about the future, joining new groups to make new friends or learn new hobbies and skills. So let hope now rise from the ashes and look ahead with optimism to the future.

[Hellion]

Depression is often a feeling of being overwhelmed by life in general and not being able to deal with it in a normal logical way, this can be mild as in feeling 'down' or clinical which requires professional treatment. I suspect what you are feeling is 'stress' which has some similar characteristics but symptons are often more 'physical' such as increased heart rate, anxiety, lack of appetite. You've lost your mother at a great age so you have been 'expecting' it so you are in someway prepared but that doesn't stop you having any feelings about it. Does your anxiety stem from the fact you were unable to be with her when she died? Also we often see our mothers as our one true 'friend' ,the person who is always on your side throughout life and even at your age it life can feel a little daunting without that 'safe haven'. My father felt bereft when his parents died in their late 80's he described it as feeling 'orphaned' at the age of 58.
I hope your feeling better soon

[holden]

I thank everyone for your great explanations they helped me a lot with my kind of Depression at this time. Thanks again. Love HOLDEN