how can i help her? part2

[Ms.Hijinx]

when she needs help these mates are not about. I didn't realise she was so low as she covers it with a happy smile all the time so now i feel guilty as hell that i didnt know the extent of her unhappiness as well as worried to death about her. she would be mortified if she knew that she had caused me concern ive told her she is wonderful etc and all the usual cheering up things but she still seems the same. how can i help her?

[~Wingnut~]

Hi Ms.Hijinx, How lovely for you to be so concerend about your friend, you truly are a good friend :o)
However, I'm afraid unless she really wants (which she probably does but maybe just doesn't have the energy do it) to break out of this situation, there isn't really much you can do.
If I was you I would carry on reassuring her that you are there for her and will try to help as much as possible if she intends on leaving her partner. Try to make her see that others are just using her and tell her it's ok to say "No" every once in a while.
The CAB can be very helpful for all sorts of things so if she really doesn't know where to start first, make an appointment and go with her....

[~Wingnut~]

......She must get down the Doctors as if she is this low she could need treating for depression or need councilling which in turn would probably help her make a start on turning her life around.
Your helping by just being there for her :o)

Sorry had to post in 2 parts as site is playing up again!!!!

[WendyS]

Some people are not good at showing their emotions; others simply believe in adopting the "stiff upper lip" attitude and trying to get on with things, so you shouldn't feel guilty about not knowing, whatever relationship this person is to you.
Howevr, now you do know, just try and be there for her and supportive d perhaps encourage her to boost her own self-esteem by attending a course or evening class on self-assertiveness to build up her self confidence. Every doing some "role-play" exercises with her abou saying "No" when she's being imposed upon might help her. Could the two of you join a dance or exercise class together to help encourage her to lose a little weight. Meanwhile, just be there for her. Having a supportive friend might just make the difference in helping her to cope and break out of this situation.

[Ms.Hijinx]

thanks for the advice everyone. I intend to be there for her as long as she needs me and if she will let me ill lend her the strength she needs to make her life better i hope she will go for it cos i cant wait to tell those users where to go on her behalf and id love to kick the pillock out for her too