putting yourself down

[CLOWN TICKLE]

Does anyone else put themselves down as much as I do, I don.t no why but I just seem to be permanently self deprocating and always scared of losing friends and acquaintances, how do I come out of it.

[violetblue]

It's a British cultural trait, isn't it? Lots of us seem to be guilty of it. I don't think you should change - would you prefer to be one of those crass Americans that says to yourself 'because I'm worth it', 'I'm X and I love myself' and all the other psychoanalitical tripe you hear imported from over there. Stay as you are!

[CLOWN TICKLE]

Thank you

[caz21]

Just think to yourself, I am me, love me for who i am or naff off! People will stay with you if they are true freinds and see it as thats who you are! If you don't want to be that way then when you feel like you are going to say something take a time out for a couple of seconds and try not to say it, it may be a case of training yourself out of it!

[Champagne]

Without coming across as arrogant, you should honestly be able to look in the mirror and be able to say "I like me". Better still, you should love yourself. I'm of the opinion that if you can't like/love yourself then you can't possibly let other people like or love you. It's just self-acceptance. You need to like your flaws as well as the good bits! If there is a trait you really don't like about yourself then the chances are that you can change it and improve upon yourself.

I tend not to put myself down. I used to though, many years back. But I found that it gave other people the opportunity to join in. I can laugh at myself and don't mind being the butt of a joke, but I will not allow people to put me down. I find that most people will do, given the opportunity. So just don't give it to them! Be strong and people will soon be in awe of you. xx

[Dollie]

Clownie - look at the internal dialogue you use to yourself on a daily basis. If you use phrases such as 'what am I like' 'it always happens to me' i'm useless' and things like that then you are reinforcing to yourself that you really ARE those things. Each phrase is a little dig at yourself which can make you feel inferiour and bound to fail. Just try every day to be a bit more upbeat - congratulate yourself when you've done well - reward yourself for your achievements and stop using languauge to yourself that you wouldn't dream of using to your friend. Good luck Dollxx