the art of social pleasantries

[ChuffingHell]

I have an employee who has the nouse to do the job she is employed to do. However, she has no social skills whatsoever; Small talk such as "how was your weekend" or any kind of enthusiasm or banter in person or on the phone, is just not something she does.

She fully acknowledges this (saying that she doesn't like being 'fake' around people she doesn't know) but other employees and clients find her very difficult to deal with. We've had more than one complaint because people think she's rude. She's not, but she just has no conversational skill (or even desire) whatsoever. As a result, she has got herself a bit of a reputation as being a rude and stupid person, which I really don't think she is.

She's rather young (19) although I'm not sure that her age brings this on because her younger sister (16) and older sister (24) are exactly the same. Never met her parents but I wouldn't be suprised if it's a family trait. You'd have to see it to believe it but it really is like talking to a brick wall sometimes.

It seems so petty - one of those things that you never really think you have to talk about, but it's having a huge impact. How can I explain to her that small social pleasantries are quite important? I don't want to upset her but something really has to change.

[pingping]

A few ideas for you (although I appreciate none of them may be applicable!)

Depending on where you work, are there an training courses on communication that you can enrol her on?

Can you organise a team-building day so she gets to know others in her team a bit better, and therefore would be more likely to loosen up a bit and be friendlier?

Can you let her know in a 1-2-1 situation that you have received complaints about her perceived rudeness and in order for her to get ahead in the company she needs to make more effort?

At the end of the day working is not just about going in and sitting at a desk all day long. It is about communicating, and building relationships with everyone around you (both internal staff and external customers).

Good luck!

[violetblue]

She may also be made aware that making small talk and observing social pleasantries is not being fake, rather it is behaving appropriately according to the situation. Oh dear, chuffinghell, I do hope she isn't serving customers or on reception. If so, she'll soon find out the hard way that people don't like her attitude.

[Madgirl2]

Effective interpersonal skills are a key competency for any job. She should gently be reminded of this.......