Could you date a single mum?

[miz_brunette]

I am a young mum (21)of one and i have fortunately found the perfect guy who is willing to raise my son with me as his own as he loves us both very much.

I was just wondering out of the men out there, which of you would be able to take on another mans child without reluctance. Honest opinions please.

[RATTER15]

I married my wife with 4 children, no problem. We have since separated after 14 years but not because of any issue with the children.

[loobie]

A friend of mine split up with the father of her her little boy and has since moved 200 miles away to be with a new guy. She has moved into his house with her little boy and has given up work to be a mum!! I think the guy is a star!!!!

[oh_no_oh_no]

well i know the idea of a guy with kids puts me off. But the older you get the more you find that people have kids and ex's, so i would assume the majority of people wouldnt mind so much these days.

[Coffeeman7]

I would be reluctant as raising children requires a lot of responsibility! When the time is right I think paternal instinct might kick in but Im enjoying the freedom at the moment and have never wanted to bring kids into this world. The fact that its not my child would definately make me even more reluctant but if you grow fond of people you find it hard to let go of them.

[Octavius]

I did date a woman with a son for a while but it didn't work because of differences between us rather than the fact she had a child. Had things been different I would have had no hesitation being with someone who had a child which wasn't mine (assuming child was there before you were together!). Perhaps as said above it is because you get to an age where you expect that other people your age probably already have had children. But in all honesty a child would not put me off having a relationship with someone.

My wife (who is quite a bit younger than me) said she would not have come near me if I had children. And I think she meant it (and still does).

[-Zorro-]

miz brunnette, I have met a lovely lady who has 4 kids, although one lives with her father.

I am in a dilema at moment. We have been on one date after which she said she would rather be friends. We keep meeting up in town on Sat nites by coincidence.

We both like each other and she now realises that she wants to be more than friends and Im now in a dilema as I dont have any kids and dont know if I want kids yet i have the prospect of inheriting 4.

But she is really nice.

[B00]

My husband met me when my daughter was 6, and has helped bring her up ever since, she's now 18 and he always refers her as "my daughter" when speaking to anyone about her.

[fayelc123]

hi miz_brunette,
My brother has dated girls with children in the past & one of my close male friends has been in a relationship for years with a women who has kids with her ex & he loves them to bits.
My boyfriend also has a daughter who i love, but he only sees her at weekends. Not sure i could have handled it at first if he had her full time though.

[ICEMANSAV]

Date : No,

Have a fling with, Maybe?

Mind you I couldn't stand having my own kids let alone bringing up someone else's!

[mccfluff]

from a female point of view, i avoid men with kids!

[gerkin]

No problem, lifes too short

[PinkFizz]

I met my b'f when my son was 4 and it has never bothered him.He knew from day one it was us as a package and I love him to bits for that.

[andy-hughes]

I met my wife when our oldest daughters were 6 and 4, they are thirty-one and twenty-nine now, and we have a third daughter who is seventeen.

As regulars on this site will know, I regard all my daughters as equal, and I have no truck with 'another man's child' nonsense.

-Zorro- - I always thought i was useless with children - turns out I was wrong! We now have two lovely grandchildren, and our middle daughter got married last Sunday, and I was totally proud to walk her down the aisle.

[havinmysay]

im a single mum but nobody wants to date me

[ELVIS68]

It wouldn`t bother me at all, a ready made family...easier than having your hand squeezed to a pulp watching your own being born

[unruliejulie]

I met my Husband when my son was 3 1/2. I will never say it was easy, but we got there in the end. He now always refers to him as " my eldest " which touches my heart. They are so close now.

To you Zorro i would say, just date her, see how it goes, after all,you're not marrying her just yet!!. If eventually, you fall in love with her then im sure you will end up loving her kids too because they are part of her. go for it and see what happens. Don't miss out on a chance to get to know her because of it. Her children are part of her and part of what makes her the person she is.

[cascarelli]

If I was single, I wouldnt have a problem with dating a single mum.

I'd guess a single mum's problem would be getting the time to find a guy to date?

[stressed out]

Hmmm, interesting question...
I am a single mum of a 3 yr old and currently 5mths pregnant with my 2nd!.. Same father, found out 3 months ago that he was having an affair with his ex!
I have no regrets about keeping the baby and raising without the biological father as he contributed nothing to my 3 yr old.. I'm not just talking financially either.
Anyway, i recently have been chatting with a lovely guy whom i have explained my situation and he seems to have no problem at all with it, in fact he is in a similar situation,(not pregnant!lol!), he split up with his now ex wife about 6/7 months ago, have 2 kids together and his ex wife was pregnant with the 3rd when they broke up! They mutualyl split when she was 3mths pregnant.. (the kids live with the mum). He was at the birth of the baby about a month ago and text me throughout the evening to keep me updated which i thought was sweet!
Anyway, we have'nt actually met up yet as we live 3 and a half hours away from each other, i'm apprehensive and very obviously pregnant as well as other factors.
I do fear that perhaps he's leading me on or messing me about but what can i do... I really like what i know and have seen of him so far and really would like it to go somewhere further than just texting/ speaking on the phone. I'm willing to take a chance so who knows!

Bit long winded but my point is that perhaps it's easier to date a single parent when you already have kids yourself.. you're in a similar situation and more easily accepting and understanding.
x

[claireyfairy]

my mum met my dad when I was a year old and as far as he's concerned I am his daughter. He does worry that I don't see him as my father though sometimes particularly when i got in contact with my biological father a few years ago but thats rubbish, he's my dad, he brought me up. My cousin also met his fiance when she was 8 months pregnant with someone elses baby. He has since adopted the little boy that she gave birth to and they have another child of their own.

[Pippa68]

Like Clairey, my dad met my mum well after I was born..I was 4 years old & he adopted me. They went on to have two more children & my dad has never made any favourites..in fact he insisted on taking me on their honeymoon as we were ' a family'!

After I divorced my first husband I met up with Mr Pippa ~ I had two kids, he had one. Our kids have never been an issue & we went on to have two daughters together. We are all a family unit despite outside influences (his ex), and neither of us thought of any problems arising when we got together..it has never been a 'them & us' situation.