New group

[worried.me]

Last week i went along to the meeting of a a local social group called plus. I should go along this week but i am scared and got a lot worrying me. I always worry about feeling emotionally naked, meaning i worry that people can see my thoughts and emotions.

I really want to make things work in my life but am always so over run with worry about so many things.

[Surreygirl30]

Try and focus on the positive, for example the fact that you are attending the group is a big thing � meeting new people, being in new situations are all extremely hard for some people. As my Dad says try not to run before you can walk and I mean that in the sense of just take it a step at a time. Maybe look around, see if anyone else looks like they are in the same boat as you and try strike up a conversation with them. Sometimes it�s the whole being accepted thing and confidence � I admire you for getting out there and doing it hun. If worry really does play on you loads, do you think you might need to see a dr � it may be anxiety etc. ~big hug~

[raysparx1]

Hi, You aren't alone, most of us feel vunerable in a big group, I am naturally shy, and if in a big group tend to be very quiet, but if you stick with it and get to know one or two people in the group,you will soon gain confidence, hope it gets a bit better for you,and you should go to the next meeting,give it a few weeks before deciding you don't like it, good luck, Ray

[worried.me]

Thank you. I do see a counsellor once a week and am trying to get "out there" and do things. I am trying to go swimming when i can, i did a day of conservation work yesterday, i will try to go to this social group tonight and i have arrganged to do a day helojg at the office of a local charity tommorow. I will try to do more next week.

I find if i do too much it can get on top of me the worries all come to the surface and i need a "me" day. Is this silly? my counsellor says we all need time out and this is my way of coping.

[raysparx1]

Don't do too much, when you start to feel thats enough,it normally is, we all need our own little bit of time to ourselves, you are chatting to us fine on here, just take it easy,if you feel under pressure take a deep breath breathe out slowly,this will calm you down and you can start again. stick with what you are doing,it will get better,honestly, Ray

[worried.me]

thanks ray. I feel bad because:

- i feel that might have scared off another new member (female) i dunno just by being me i was chatty etc but think she might have thought i fancied her.

- i only chatted to a few people, was a bit scared of some of the others.

- Due to my job i can only go to the thursday meeting at the moment. I would like to go this satarday as they have a meal out and would be nice. But i will be working 0615 till 1800, and my job is pysically very tiring (in a warehouse)

[Surreygirl30]

its never silly hun - the thing is you are helping yourself. The main thing is that you are happy and comfortable with what you are trying to do. I think it always takes a while to fit in and feel right somewhere - i walked out of my job on the first day in tears thinking they all hated me. 2 years later i love it and the people. i am one of those people that needs a kick up the behind - especially when it comes to social things - if i can avoid it i will . Just take things slow and not try to do too much too soon. I always remember someone saying that you would be suprised how many people feel the same - even the loud ones who you would think are really confident. let us know how you get on :-)

[worried.me]

yes maybe i am doing enough. They say the best way to fight mild depression is to keep busy but perhaps doing something all day everyday would be too much! I try to take the advice i read somewhere that a 20 minute walk each day helps. It certianly does, i try to pop to the shop then take a longer route home and just let thoughts go through me and try to relax.

[Surreygirl30]

nice one and yeah i know i have a bit of a walk home and it kind of clears my head.

[raysparx1]

Hi, you will be fine, good advice from Surreygirl, take it slow, at your pace,don't be hurried, sometimes when I feel a bit awkward I talk too much, and everyone thinks you are fine and confident but it is the nerves taking over, if I am in a weird situation now I just imagine them all in there underwear, works a treat,that does,

[Surreygirl30]

lol at Ray - you know when people talk to me i go bright red and say the most stupid things - i was in the lift the other day and this really nice guy started chatting to me and all that came out of my mouth was how i had an ear infection. he must have thought eww nice - i walked off and thought why did i say that. I am one of those types that takes a while to ge to know people and feel 'right'.

[raysparx1]

We all do it Surreygirl,but why do things like that come out? crazy eh, I bet you are a really good laugh as well, Stick with it worried.me and when you have cracked it come back on here as smiley.me, I really think you are going the right way to gaining confidence, good luck, Ray