What would you do....?

[angeldraws]

...if you discovered that a member of your family who you really respected for years, had done something really awful a few years ago, to a sibling (not sexual abuse or anything like), when they (sibling) were going thru a really rough time having lost a child.......BUT you were not speaking to the sibling at the time and have recently made up (with the sibling)....?

I was told something the other day and think this is really awful and don't know how to feel, knowing that it is likely to be true......
I have recently reconciliated wiv members of my family who i havent spoken to for a number of years and for various reasons (some being the betrayal of loyalties) i now find the 'family politics' too much to handle - the bitching and two-facedness, the grudges etc..... I hate families apart from my own hubby and kids - who are by no means perfect but perfect for me.........
Should i just drop the lot or totally limit contact.......?

[B00]

blimey!
Are you related to the Mafia?

Without knowing the ins and outs, and what the 'really awful thing' was it' hard for us lot to really offer an opinion. I guess you just go along with what you want to do. At the end of the day if you can't overlook whatever happened in the past, then by all means 'drop the lot'.

I'm not of the school of thought that your family is the be all and end all- if they make you unhappy, cease contact.

[nev2u]

Angeldraws.. Never cut off total contact. If you are truly upset, then try and limit contact, but never completly cut off all relations.
After all, family comes first. Blood is thicker than water. And younever know when you may someday need their help.
Just maintain warm cordial long distance relations.

[raysparx1]

angel, the problem is you can pick your friends,you are stuck with the family, if you don't get along just keep a low profile with the ones you don't get along with, Ray

[B00]

Pah to blood bein' thicker than water, what rubbish (sorry nev- lol)

If family members upset you, why should you keep in contact with them just because of blood ties???

[angeldraws]

Thanks guys - I agree that family isnt everything as boo and ray suggest and that was why i decided to cease contact wiv them originally all those years ago - i thought things may have changed but that's not the case and i'm worried i willl just get hurt by their antics.....

@Boo - funnily enough, Mafia has been mentioned before regarding my family!!!! Lol

[B00]

Then by the sounds of it you really are better without 'em. As much as we'd all like our families to be like The Waltons, many times- sadly, they aren't.

We wouldn't suffer this upset and anguish that they can cause from friends, so why should you with family members? Especially if they aren't immediate family.

My heart goes out to you Angeldraws, you're obviously upset already and from what you've said, you'll only suffer more if you stay friendly with them just for the sake of it. Be civil, but nothing more.

And lol @ Mafia bit- as long a if you don't wake up with a horses head on ya pillow you'll be fine :-)

[angeldraws]

Thanks Boo - you're so sweet......

For future reference - my husband only hung like a horse - ony looks that bad after a bad nite out!!!!! Cud be me mother - she can be a bit of a 'nag' !!!! lol