How to break up with someone?

[shiraz83]

I want to break up with my guy because he will be moving abroad for a while and I know there is no chance of doing this as along distance thing. The idea of not being with him makes me so upset and so imagine when he finally does go in a few months - i'll suffer with a broken heart! I reckon it would be easier to just stop seeing him altogether .. but I don't know how to say it. I don't really want him to know he has such a hold on me either. Any suggestions?

[Carakeel]

Why not just enjoy each other while he is still here? Why break it off now. Why not be honest with him and tell him that you know you just can't do the long distance thing, so think it would be better to just remain friends after he is gone. Either way hearts are going to be broken, but if you enjoy your time together now, you can still be friends afterwards as the reason for separating is a genuine and honest one. There is nothing wrong with him knowing how much you care about him as long as you don't try to smother him with them and are just honest. It might make your time together even better. If it scares him off, then it will be no different than if you broke it off now, ahead of time. Just be nice about whatever you decide. Too many people think the only way to end things is on a bad note. That is soooo wrong! Hope things work out for you. Good luck!

[dawg_kane]

Yeah this is a tricky one, can say i have been in an almost similar situation myself so i can see where u are coming from..
You dont say how long he will be away for, is it so long that it warrants breaking up?....if it makes you so upset to not have him close then you obviously feel strongly for this guy, its hard enough these days to find someone decent who you really care about and cares about you, id try and keep hold of him if i were you, enjoy to the fullest the time you have left together and use the time apart to build up your friendships with your close friends and family.
These days its so easy to stay in touch with a loved one every day, he might not be next to you and in your company but it doesnt mean you have to feel apart, you will know what to do when the time comes, good luck!

[laurence2]

Love has no boundaries, so you can't love him that much to split up.
How long is AWHILE, can't you trust him or vice versa whilst he his away, i think theirs more than meets the eye with this posting, tho apologies if i'm barking up the wrong tree, i think your looking for an excuse to leave him?

[shiraz83]

Definately not, i'm crazy about this guy! He has told me from the beginning that he would move for about a couple of years and that's an awful long time. He'll probably meet someone else while he's over there !

[laurence2]

If hes as keen as you in your relationship, 2 years is nothing, You need to trust each other, if the 2 years is to long for you to wait, well i understand if you need to move on, obviously he dosen't know that you want to break with him, how will this effect him do you think?

[shiraz83]

Well laurence, a part of me thinks that he won't be too bothered as we started this relationship with his plannning to do this all along. Whenever he mentions it he doesnt seem to talk about it like it's a big deal :(

[laurence2]

The problem then shiraz is you then, your smitten with him and your 50/50 on which avenue to take, if you really want to end it with him, just explain that you don't want to hang around for 2 years waiting to get your relationship going again, i'm sure he'll understand.
You can always remain friends over this time, and if after the 2 years you both still have feelings for each other, all well and good, only you know the answer, and i'm sure you will come to the right decision

Good luck