God, I'm having a bad day...

[Silversky]

On top of my "guy" trouble,
My dad and I having been arguing really fiercely....
Cos he likes his drink, and I got so angry with him I took it all away from him...
The arguement ended up being "Well it's your problem if you die"
Uncalled for, ok, but I'm so angry, cos I don't want him to
keep on killing himself because he drinks so much.
He doesn't see himself of an alcoholic, even though through definition he is. He gets very angry when he drinks as well, but not violent... But it keeps troubling me that its only a matter of time.
It's really worrying me.
Thanks for listening.

[MangoPete]

You are not alone my dad was like that, spent all our money on drink and was a B to my mum. They both got cancer my dad from secondard smoke in the pub.
After all the sht they went through, the last 6 mths of their life they were really in love
it is hard to love the person and hate the symptom, but inside the beast is someone who regrets who he is.
the reason you get angry is bcos you love him.
BUT you must live your life and try to be strong for you
take care
Peter

[snagged]

I experienced a similar problem... my last gf loved the drink 'too much'... she'd come in from nights out and one of two things would usually happen: she'd either be really aggressive, confrontational and moody, looking for an arguement with whoever was there... me..., ranting and raving and occasionally smashing stuff up in the house too... or she'd come in... disappear... after a while, I'd go to check she was ok - and 9 times out of 10 she'd passed out - so I'd have to sort her out/clean up the puke/get her into bed etc... she was perpetually losing her glasses, contact lenses, phone, purse etc through these 'binges' that became more and more frequent... until it was happening once or twice a week... I put up with it longer than I should have... I guess you do when you love someone... but after a while enough was enough... it was effecting all other aspects of both our lives - socially and privately - for the worse... she would miss groups of days off work and forget promises/appointments she'd made previously to family and friends... her saving grace was that when she wasn't p*ssed, she really was lovely... but towards the end there were many more 'nasty' situations than 'good' ones...she could have tried do something about it herself or 'ask' for help - all her family and friends offered support - but ultimately she chose drink. At that point I decided that if she wasn't going to even try to sort this out, why the hell should I be the 'cleaner-upper' - possibly for a long time/the rest of my life(!)... I also have a life to lead which was not happening being with her. We split...

[joby1]

me too.
But that's life aint it??

You are a bigger and better person, your Dad has his choices, FINE,
You HAVE YOURS !!

Everyone has their probs, not all can deal with them,:-((

You cant live his life for him though!

Sorry if I sound harsh, but been there... X

[snagged]

much more to the point than my rant, 'joby1'...

[Eve]

Awww honey, hope you get things sorted.

Why don't you write him a letter explaining how you feel if it's difficult to talk without arguing and shouting especially as you're at such an important time of your life with your exams and such.

If you need a chat then catch me on msn xxx

[andover888]

People drink for lots of reasons but I think the bottom line is that people can't be forced to "change". He has to make that choice.
I think the little voice in his head knows he drinks too much and he is scared cos drinking is his coping mechanism. People have to be open to looking at their drinking and for some it might be that instead of drinking 4 cans of 5% larger they reduce it to 4 cans of 3%. He doesn't sound like hes ready. So really its about what support you can get. Try web for family & partners of alcohol dependants. Feel 4 you. Good Luck x