Happy inside = Happy outside

[jibjab]

I am really pretty upset at the moment so would appreciate it if the usual mockers didnt bother with their sarcy remarks.

I have been single for 6 months and have always been told i am very good looking "but dont know it", as i am pretty humble and shy.

The thing is a mate of mine was just giving me some advice on a girl i really like..... he said i might come accross as desperate sometimes, not in a pestering sleazy way, but in a sad way, and this has upsset me.

I feel like everyone must see me that way....

I am 24 goodlooking and have a good job, but there seems to be issues to do with my confidence which let me down in certain parts of my life.

I just wish i was more confident and ballsy !

How can i get myself out of this rut, get out there be confident and meet girls !

[crete]

jib best thing is to stop worrying about it and just be yourself.

[B00]

I remember you!

Anyhows......

Maybe you're trying too hard? Just relax when your around women, treat them as friends rather than as future girlfriends. If you relax enough, forget that you're on a 'mission', it'll happen before you know it.

Good luck.

[andy-hughes]

Sound advice from BOO - as usual - women can see desparation from about five miles away, so just be nice and low-key and be nice. So many women get guys 'chatting them up' - that someone just talking and having a conversation will make a nice change!

[PinkFizz]

jibjab - you are going to have to be shocked here - coz looks are not the thing that most girls go for!

I have had some amazing looking boyfriends but their personality always let them down.My current guy is nothing fantastic(well I think he is but I am biased!) yet he is confident ,intelligent,funny and thats what does it for most women.

Stop even think about your looks - concentrate on building your confidence.Go to the library,the internet and look up assertiveness,how to build your confidence and things will fall into place when you least expect them.

[duckster]

just dont make it an issue! be more concerned about how your going to get out of paying for a costly marrige when the right girl meets you!!!

[loobie]

Jibjab, just go for it. Don't take any notice of people saying she's not right for you. Only you will know. Life is too short to faff around. If she's the girl for you, then great, if it don't work out then there's plenty more where she came from!!Oh and if you can make her laugh then that's a real bonus!! good luck!!

[redcrx]

jibjab / salisbury

I can see why your mate may be saying that, you are often on here asking how to meet girls, be confident, forget ex, move on etc etc etc. It does come across as desperate at times.

Go back through all your previous questions, there have been plenty of good answers and lots of great advice.

The sarcy comments are maninly because be see you asking day in and day out and really i think people are running out of ideas and advice that you dont take on board.

[raysparx1]

jibjab,

Do as B00 says,you are so wrong about the being less macho bit, I could never be doing with that crap, a lady likes to be treated like a lady, I was never the best looking bloke around but was ok,but I was never short of girlfriends, try to relax, as crete says be yourself,girls like a caring bloke and somebody who can make them laugh, so give it a go don't ever try to be something you aren't they will see through that, good luck, Ray

[Pea Pod]

Send her some flowers with a note asking her out. You havent had to speak to her face to face and if she says no at least you know where you stand.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, listen to your mates, always. They tell you what you dont want to hear and what you dont see yourself. How you pertray yourself to others is how they take you. If you come across desperate to a girl, she will sense it and be put off. You need to wear smart clothes, be confident and hang around with the right people and right places. And a definate is a car. if you have none of them quality's then basically your just gonna end up with some chick you have met hanging around outside the nightclub just after its closed. But hey, if your just after sex...

[redcrx]

jibjab
i cant see how you can lose face asking people for advice. You can only be yourself, pretending to be anything other than that will be spotted as being false.
As i said before, constantly asking how you can attract women, build confidence etc will make you appear as desperate to get a girlfriend and a relationship. Add to that your first posts about the heartache your previous partner caused and it adds up to a picture of a very unsecure and unhappy person who feels the need for a relationship to complete his life.
All you can do is take your friends comments on board, but still ask the girl out, you never know whatll happen if you are yourself.

[filthiestfis]

Pinkfizz-if looks aint everything, then why is it that you have had some amazing looking boyfriends that yet lacked the personality? Surely you would have gotten the message after going out with one good looking guy that has undergone a personality bypass? I dont believe for a minute that physical beauty doesnt open doors for people. It sure does.

[filthiestfis]

JIBJAB- You and I seriously need to talk-we are in the same situation, except I dont have a job and nobody tells me Im good looking cos Im not LOL But everything else you describe about yourself is me!

[PinkFizz]

filthiestfs - what I meant was that I have seen some very good loking guys who seem great at first sight,but after a few dates and etting to know then qickly realised that they didnt have too much else going on.

Of course the face is the first thing you see,but after that for long term happiness there has to br more,such as personality,compatibility etc

[4getmenot]

I agree with BOO and redcrx and we're not mocking you it just gets a bit tiring when you keep asking the same thing and you dont follow the advice you're so desperate to hear. Be yourself, no one likes big headed people or chat up lines... be yourself , have fun without a girlfriend for a while and love yourself then you are ready to love others :-)

[lostboy87]

jibjab mate,a year and a half ago i was you.My wife cheated on me and it left me feelin insecure for ages and i doubted myself in every way,so i feel for you mate i realy do.I would come across desperate and just felt like i was missing out because i wasnt in a relationship.My mates told me the same things they are telling you.Eventualy i got over it,i had a year of going out every night drinking and having laugh.I stoped searching for a girlfriend and just started to have fun instead.Then i met my girlfriend who i have been with now for 1 and a half years and never been happier.Just stop looking and just have a good time have a few one night stands that is how i got over it!So all i have to say is this....Stop looking,have fun and eventuly someone will come along when the time is right.Dean.