4gotten about

[4getmenot]

I hang about with a lot of lads and one particular boy used to come round all the time last year, this year he changed and probably hasn't visited me since March, I still go on the occasional night out and he is there but doesnt talk to me and recently I found out he's had a new mobile number for about a month and hasn't given me it. Anyway he became ill and has been in hospital for the past 3 weeks, my mate came round with a card for everyone to sign and a collection box. Now I wouldn't wish anyone to be taken ill like this and I signed the card but I refused to put money in the box. He hasn't treated me nice lately and I feel that he doesn't deserve my money, and I also hate all these fake people that never spoke to him like I did and are now 'oh no he's in hospital blah blah blah' Am I a heartless b1tch for thinking this way?

[turkey154]

no i think its understandable, if he hasn't been there for you why should you be there for him.

would he be putting money in your money box if it was you in hospital?

[rom]

i agree with you
i hate all that fake stuff aswell
when i was 17 a guy who was horrible to me all the way through school died in a car crash, while i felt sorry and very sad for him dying, i didn't go to his funeral as i felt that would be hypocritical. alot of my friends who also didn't get on with him went to his funeral though, and i felt bad, but looking back 10 years later it makes sense that i didn't go
don't be thinking you are heartless though, as you are not at all :-)

[spk]

You arent heartless at all 4getmenot I think you are right. At least you arent being two faced and fake I imagine I would react in the same way as you did. Why did he stop getting in touch with you and popping round?

[4getmenot]

I�ve been in that same situation too rom, my mate died in a crash along with a girl he was seeing behind his girlfriends back. I refused to go to the girls, fair enough my mate shouldn�t have been with this girl that day but I always got on with him, but I felt that all his girlfriends� mates that went to this girls funeral let her down in some way. I don�t know if this boy in hospital would give me money but if he did I�d know it would have been just coz someone asked him too or he wanted to go along with all the other fakes. I�m a person that gets on with a lot of people but I also know who my closest friends are and you I trust. And I cant bring myself to be all sympathetic for him like the other people that didn�t get on with him a month ago.

[4getmenot]

I don�t know spk that�s the thing I have never done anything wrong to him that I know of, but I live in a small town where everyone knows each others business and there are some people that just move round groups of friends to whoever�s popular at the time, like this boy did. And I don�t know whether he�s been told something about me that isn�t true to stop him coming round. But I couldn�t care less because people that listen to other peoples gossip and don�t know people for who they truly aren�t worth it.

[PinkFizz]

Have you any idea why he has stopped coming around since March? If you haven't a clue and he hasn't said why then no,I would not feel bad.

[4getmenot]

I did send him a message plankfluff asking what his problem was with me and that he is always welcome round but no reply to it. On my birthday I invited him out and he said don�t know I�ll let you know, he never let me know but on the night turned up but I think that was only coz everyone else was there. When we are out I try and talk to him but he replays like I�m thick or something to really show me up. It�s a shame because we used to have such a laugh together.

[PinkFizz]

Wierd isn't it.I think that all you can do is go and see him when he is better and ask why things have changed and tell him what you have said here.If he still won't say why then you are better off with other friends.

[redcrx]

anyone who talks to you like you are thick or stupid sis isnt really worth bothering with. xx

[Hellion]

Hi 4getmenot - I reckon you probably didn't do anything wrong, I realise I don't how old you are but I'm guessing 20's, sometimes men are funny, they can be really friendly with a girl and then someone comments about their 'girlfriend' and rather than just say 'look were friends that's all' they ignore you to let everyone know you're not his girlfriend.
I think you did the right thing 4getmenot, true friends aren't 'hard work' .
You're lovely and it's his loss! Don't waste any time worrying about it.

[4getmenot]

I dont want to go see him though, I feel I have given him enough chances while we are out and after asking him anyway. Maybe his time in hospital might make him realise who his mates are, but then he's so fickle he'd probably look at the card and money and think oh arent they all nice they gave me money but 4getmenot can get lost as she didnt give me anything.

[4getmenot]

Aw thanks hellion. :-) and redcrx xx. Don�t think I will make much more of an effort with him, I shouldn�t have to make an effort with any true friend. Some mates I fall out with over things rather than nothing and I get so upset because I know how much they mean to me, where as with this one I havent been too bothered, yer we had funny times but I think he came round more because his mates did and it was someowhere to hang out, now his other friends have a flat he tends to hang out there. So more out for what he can get than any friendship. You know like them �friends� that you ask round and they say �I�ll let you know� when they have no plans, they just want to see if something better somes up. I hate that.

[spk]

It sounds like he isnt a great friend 4getmenot, If he had heard something about you a true friend would ask you about it. Its a shame hes not well but stick to your guns and dont be two faced about it. A true friend would never give you the cold shoulder like that.

Try not to get upset about it, you seem like a lovely person its most certainly him thats losing out x