How much does having a baby hurt?

[soft-russian]

I am pregnnt (by artifical insemination) just so you know I am a lesbain and do NOT fancy men. I am worried about the pain it will cause.Can you tell me honestly how much does it hurt? and how long the pain lasts for? It is worse then breaking your arm? Is it just when the baby comes out that it hurts or the whole labour?

[RATTER15]

I had a metal splinter in my finger and had to have a local anesthetic to have it removed and I had 3 stitches, it hurt like a buqqer!!

[raysparx1]

Carakeel, I am sitting here with my legs crossed, us blokes are lucky,just as well though cos you know we can't stand pain, but when my wife had our boys I was luckily pain free, she said it twinged a little xx

[-Zorro-]

its like taking a sh!t surely...why you women complain about it I dont know

[rugeleyboy]

when we had our children i was ok?? tv on in the corner and a cup of tea on tap??

bloddy wife was noisy tho, i had to keep turning the tv up!!

[raysparx1]

Hello Zorro suppose it is like that,mind you I would not like to pass an 8lb plop,god my eyes are watering at the thought of it.

[ummmm]

You boys are right....The girls over react

[Carakeel]

aaaaaawwwww poor ray! Need a tissue for your eyes sweet ray? Well, in reality every woman is different. A friend of mine felt hardly anything when she gave birth to her children. Me? I had to do it the hard way (as usual!) ... the pressure of my first two children actually fractured vertebrae in my back and so I had a caesarean for the third. That too wasn't nice, but far better than the first two births. So glad I never have to go there again!!! So Zorro, I'd love to see you give it a try then, if it's as easy as you say? You guys so make me laugh. Most men behave as if they are dying when they just have a mild cold!!! Well, with the exception of you RATTER. You're sooooo brave xxx LOL :o)

[rugeleyboy]

seriously, my wife ripped (if you know what i mean) and i nearly passed out!! but got strangly aroused when the doctor stuck his finger up her bum!!!

[smiffy65]

well here goes exactly what is it like to have a baby,take hold of your bottom lip, stretch it over the top of your head then staple it to the back of your neck, when that pain has gone you then forget the pain and wonder in awe at the little bundle in your arms , I have done it five times,and if him indoors had not been bricked I think I would have carried on

[johnlambert]

Imagine that you are trying to have a bowel movement that is shaped like a hedgehog (and it's coming out backwards) and is the size of a house, then multiply that feeling by a factor of 30.
FFS you stupid russian bint, get back to the Urals and stop annoying us decent folk

[pie+mash]

You guys are cracking me up!! ROFL

I used to like it when ruskie would join in on the thread, and everyone ignored her and just carried on chatting!!

Studying to be a doctor? My @rse!!

[steviep165]

she hasnt joined in on this one i notice. not one contribution from our eastern european nemesis!!

[luckyeight]

Particularly like how the guys are answering this thread with such casual authority - eg
"Some have short, almost pain - free labours"...
Amused but quite annoyed.
Whereas simply amused by the russians 'do NOT fancy' men / lesbonic / IVF introduction to the question. :) Didn't you know that if youre gay, giving birth hurts much more... Are you going to call it 'Damien?'

[jedimistress]

If I had a gun I would have shot myself.

[ermintrude35]

..."how long does the pain last...?...about 18 years , but it never really ever goes away....

[RATTER15]

So to conclude, if you staple your bottom lip to the back of your neck whilst passing an 8lb house shaped hedgehog backwards whilst your spine is disintegrating, and the nurse is poised ready with needle and cotton to sew up splitting vagina's, meanwhile, drooling over a fried afterbirth with onion gravy, you will get the picture.

I dont know what all the fuss is about!!

Its just a baby!!

[steviep165]

and the pain in your back account never goes away!

[Nickynoodles]

Yes it hurts, but not half as much as the friggin moaning and empty bank you will have to put up with for the rest of your natural life!!!!!

[noxlumos]

Oddly enough luckyeight my second wife did have "short almost pain free labours" (her words and my observation)compared to my first wife who screamed the fcuking place down for 2 days each time.
I think being a man does not necessarily disqualify one from having an idea of the traumas of labour for women (and the different labours different women have, if you have seen them), but I do think that childless women are equally clueless as men, possibly more so if they've never watched a labour first hand and the man concerned has.
Why do you always feel the need to denigrate any man's input regarding women's sexuality or childbirth, you give the impression of being a real misandrist. Lots of men take a great interest and care in their partner, and it doesn't do to have that input automatically rubbished because of mere gender.
Btw on a different note, somone reminded whiffey of the russian... hence it seems to have reappeared. Here we go again.

[luckyeight]

Hi nox You're absolutely right that men can have ideas about women's experiences, and can observe and comment on them. I don't attempt to automatically denigrate men, but do think that women are better qualified to answer questions about women. It's interesting that you think my posts are misanderous - lot's of posts on here can be very misogynistic but it's rarely taken as an exception or commented on.
You are right, though that a man who has been present at the birth of his children is in a better position to comment about birth experiences than a woman who has had no experience of childbirth.