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something weird..
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I want your opinions about one of my boyfriends friends please, there's something about her that i dont like but whenever i mention that to my boyfriend he just says im being jealous or something so i wanted to know what you nice bunch of people thought!
Right me & my bf (we're all 18 btw) have been together over a year now, and he has a friend called (lets just call her) "J", and he's met her through work so probably known her about a year now or less...
She'd text him quite a lot just like 'how are you' & stuff, and because i wasn't 18 at the time whenever he went out drinking with his friends he would invite her along which i didnt really like - i think what made this bad is cos he doesnt have any other 'girl' friends so it was just with a bunch of lads.
The one night which really got to me was when he had gone out on i think a leaving do for someone at their work & he had gone with 1 of his friends (who drives), and because he was living at my house at the time i got a phonecall at about 12:30 saying "Chris wants to go home now & i dont really want to go now, & "J" says she will be all on her own because her friends have gone home & she doesnt want to get a taxi on her own, so she says i can sleep at her house".
I didnt like this so said "well thats her fault so just come home with Chris & im sure she can get a lift home with him too, because i dont want you staying at her house"..
He did come home, but was in a mood because he said that "J" had got really angry at him or something like that, saying that it was his fault!!!
Anyways.. i hadn't met her till about a month ago, and we did get on well but there is something i dont like about her...for example..
Right me & my bf (we're all 18 btw) have been together over a year now, and he has a friend called (lets just call her) "J", and he's met her through work so probably known her about a year now or less...
She'd text him quite a lot just like 'how are you' & stuff, and because i wasn't 18 at the time whenever he went out drinking with his friends he would invite her along which i didnt really like - i think what made this bad is cos he doesnt have any other 'girl' friends so it was just with a bunch of lads.
The one night which really got to me was when he had gone out on i think a leaving do for someone at their work & he had gone with 1 of his friends (who drives), and because he was living at my house at the time i got a phonecall at about 12:30 saying "Chris wants to go home now & i dont really want to go now, & "J" says she will be all on her own because her friends have gone home & she doesnt want to get a taxi on her own, so she says i can sleep at her house".
I didnt like this so said "well thats her fault so just come home with Chris & im sure she can get a lift home with him too, because i dont want you staying at her house"..
He did come home, but was in a mood because he said that "J" had got really angry at him or something like that, saying that it was his fault!!!
Anyways.. i hadn't met her till about a month ago, and we did get on well but there is something i dont like about her...for example..
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the other week i texted her on a thursday saying do you wanna come out with us on saturday, let me know.. we didnt hear back so we made other plans to go out for a meal jsut us two.. He was in work with her on Saturday & told her this & apparently she was having a go at him saying stuff like 'well i've told my parents im going out, & picked my outfit out!' he just apologised & THEN on saturday night i got a text from her saying 'are we still going out tonight? let me know'?!?! to me that's just slightly odd considering she knew we weren't and had been told this!...
Then today i met up with her to go round town and do some xmas shopping for my BF, & was in a shop getting a Tshirt & they only had small left and she just said 'theres no way in hell he could fit into that!' - My bf is not at all fat & usually gets Small size's when out.. but at the moment he's feeling really self concious about his size, and now i know why! she told me today that he had asked her if he had put on weight and she had told him that he had! who says that to someone! to me that is really horrible!
She is a nice girl but there's something i dont like about her!
What do you think?!
(sorry this is soo long didnt mean for it to be jsut wanted to try say what i mean)
Then today i met up with her to go round town and do some xmas shopping for my BF, & was in a shop getting a Tshirt & they only had small left and she just said 'theres no way in hell he could fit into that!' - My bf is not at all fat & usually gets Small size's when out.. but at the moment he's feeling really self concious about his size, and now i know why! she told me today that he had asked her if he had put on weight and she had told him that he had! who says that to someone! to me that is really horrible!
She is a nice girl but there's something i dont like about her!
What do you think?!
(sorry this is soo long didnt mean for it to be jsut wanted to try say what i mean)
she obviously likes him and he is happy to watch you pair play tennis.
My guess is he's either very good mates which can be healthy or he is trying to sh55 the a666 off her.
Chances are though if you et too tough with him he will go anyway .
I had a girlfriend who was always flirting in this manner and frankly it made me mad .She dumped me in the end which is just as well .Silly cow
My guess is he's either very good mates which can be healthy or he is trying to sh55 the a666 off her.
Chances are though if you et too tough with him he will go anyway .
I had a girlfriend who was always flirting in this manner and frankly it made me mad .She dumped me in the end which is just as well .Silly cow
sorry for it to be so long.. basically my bf's friends with this girl & she says stuff to him and has a go at him then comes to me & pretends nothings happened, and said that my boyfriend is fat basically and said that too him & now he's really paranoid about his appearence because of her or so i think..
This is a tricky one.
When a male and a female are 'good friends'.. this situation will almost always lead to some sort of sexual tension/attraction/flirtation. Even if its one sided, the attention can be flattering to the other person, boosting their self esteem, leading to them feeling good when they are around the other person, hence spending more and more time with them. In my experience, males and females who 'like' each other, normally end up 'liking' each other more.
I think that the only way to go here is clear communication... with BOTH of them if you have the balls.
When a male and a female are 'good friends'.. this situation will almost always lead to some sort of sexual tension/attraction/flirtation. Even if its one sided, the attention can be flattering to the other person, boosting their self esteem, leading to them feeling good when they are around the other person, hence spending more and more time with them. In my experience, males and females who 'like' each other, normally end up 'liking' each other more.
I think that the only way to go here is clear communication... with BOTH of them if you have the balls.
I recommend a sit down talk with him, ask him not to talk, but to LISTEN, and tell him exactly what you've written here. I'm sure that you've told him already, but tell him how it makes you feel. Any caring boyfriend wouldn't want to deliberately make their girlfriend feel this way, and would modify their behaviour accordingly.
Likewise... you might want to have a word with her as well. On one of your shopping trips, why not tell her how irritating you and your boyfriend find it when she nuzzles in on your private time? And then STOP going out with her. WHY are you making it easy for her to be around you and your boyfriend? You're giving her the 'go ahead' to spend more time with you both (him really!). Why are you going shopping with her, and spending time with somebody who, if you're honest, you dont actually like.... and why would you? She is thwarting your relationship with your boyfriend, and probably LOVING it that shes causing problems between you. And all the while thats happening, she makes herself the 'fun' girl to be around, and you the 'bunny boiler' girlfriend. And potentially making it easier for your boyfriend to make some choices!
Tell you what... why dont YOU get yourself a male 'friend' and start going out with him. Tell your boyfriend that its ok, as you're only friends, and he ought to understand that, as HE has a female friend as well. Wonder how he'd take to that idea?
However, do try to bear in mind that you're 18, and the chances are (fingers-crossed) that he's just one of many many boyfriends you'l have before you settle down with the right one. And if he's causing you so much grief ... he's clearly not mr right... just mr right now. As much as you love him now... I'm guessing that there is an end to this. Bet you know that too really deep down.
A good relationship just shouldn't be this hard work chick.
Likewise... you might want to have a word with her as well. On one of your shopping trips, why not tell her how irritating you and your boyfriend find it when she nuzzles in on your private time? And then STOP going out with her. WHY are you making it easy for her to be around you and your boyfriend? You're giving her the 'go ahead' to spend more time with you both (him really!). Why are you going shopping with her, and spending time with somebody who, if you're honest, you dont actually like.... and why would you? She is thwarting your relationship with your boyfriend, and probably LOVING it that shes causing problems between you. And all the while thats happening, she makes herself the 'fun' girl to be around, and you the 'bunny boiler' girlfriend. And potentially making it easier for your boyfriend to make some choices!
Tell you what... why dont YOU get yourself a male 'friend' and start going out with him. Tell your boyfriend that its ok, as you're only friends, and he ought to understand that, as HE has a female friend as well. Wonder how he'd take to that idea?
However, do try to bear in mind that you're 18, and the chances are (fingers-crossed) that he's just one of many many boyfriends you'l have before you settle down with the right one. And if he's causing you so much grief ... he's clearly not mr right... just mr right now. As much as you love him now... I'm guessing that there is an end to this. Bet you know that too really deep down.
A good relationship just shouldn't be this hard work chick.
if someone asks you if they have put weight on, usually they want the truth - and if they don't then they shouldn't ask!
being offended on his behalf about her saying he's fat (which actually she didn't) is a bit daft
the only time i wouldn't tell someone the truth in that instance is if it was their wedding day or they were about to slash their wrists
if they are asking just so i will say "ooh no, you look skinny" then they will be disappointed
as for the rest of it - stop calling, texting, inviting, involving etc etc - you are just making it easier for her to upset you.
being offended on his behalf about her saying he's fat (which actually she didn't) is a bit daft
the only time i wouldn't tell someone the truth in that instance is if it was their wedding day or they were about to slash their wrists
if they are asking just so i will say "ooh no, you look skinny" then they will be disappointed
as for the rest of it - stop calling, texting, inviting, involving etc etc - you are just making it easier for her to upset you.
It sounds to me that this girl is going to cause you as much trouble as she can. She fancies your boyfriend but he hasnt got the foggiest idea that she does. Why would she get angry about him stopping over if she only thought of him as a friend? If one of your mates changed their mind would you get angry?
There is a saying that says keep your friends close but your enemies closer. She is not going to be happy until she has split you both up. I dont have any answers for you but I hope you do find an answer that you are happy with. Good luck.
There is a saying that says keep your friends close but your enemies closer. She is not going to be happy until she has split you both up. I dont have any answers for you but I hope you do find an answer that you are happy with. Good luck.
this all has nothing to do with the fact that its a male/female friendship. I am female and have lots of male friends. i frequently go out on my own with a bunch of them and become 'one of the boys'. Thats fine and purely platonic.. it can happen.
this girl just seems very bossy of your bf and basically not very nice. i dont think she fancies him but i think she is controlling. its his friend, not yours and so why are you going shopping with her and texting her. back off and trust him. if he has worked with her for over a year and they arent together then you are fine.
he will walk away if you put pressure on him. he has to work with this girl and so you need to chill and stop over analysing. having said that... dont meet up with the girl cos you are putting too much emphasise on everything she does.
this girl just seems very bossy of your bf and basically not very nice. i dont think she fancies him but i think she is controlling. its his friend, not yours and so why are you going shopping with her and texting her. back off and trust him. if he has worked with her for over a year and they arent together then you are fine.
he will walk away if you put pressure on him. he has to work with this girl and so you need to chill and stop over analysing. having said that... dont meet up with the girl cos you are putting too much emphasise on everything she does.
1 (b/f) into 2 (girls) = twice the fun.
2 (girls) into 1 (b/f) = half the fun
Are you happy with either of those equations?
Sounds like she is doing her best to make life awkward for you. There are some really good replies here and I especially like the advice from ****** ~ just what do you think your b/f would say if you got yourself a male friend then told him that you wanted to spend the night at another blokes house?
Naz has the right idea - give 'em both a slap!!
2 (girls) into 1 (b/f) = half the fun
Are you happy with either of those equations?
Sounds like she is doing her best to make life awkward for you. There are some really good replies here and I especially like the advice from ****** ~ just what do you think your b/f would say if you got yourself a male friend then told him that you wanted to spend the night at another blokes house?
Naz has the right idea - give 'em both a slap!!
