how do you tell someone that they are shouting instead of talking?

[bubbles4920]

how do you tell someone that they are shouting instead of talking? a friend/neighbour of mine gives me such a headache when i go round. she shouts instead of talks and in the summer when the doors are open, surely the other neighbours can hear every word! i think its cos she has 3 kids and they must shout over each other for attention. i did say once that i had a headache but that didnt seem to work. even yesterday when we sat round the kitchen table with her hubby there, she was so loud when talking to both of us yet we were in such close proximity.

[Loosehead]

You have to just tell them, they don't know they are doing it. Some people are just Loud naturally!

[serendipity1]

is it like vivien off the young ones? if it were id have to say something cause otherwise id get a headache! xx

[laurence2]

In simple terms, you don't beat about the bush, just come out with ''why are you shouting'' maybe they might be slightly deaf?

[Eve]

Could she have a hearing problem or something. This can make things worse.

I do but i go the other way and tend to speak too quietly lol.

Maybe have a quiet word, seemingly out of concern, as to whether she can hear stuff properly as you've noticed that she talks really loudly and that it can be an indication of a hearing problem so you're asking out of concern.

May bring up a problem, may just make her aware but worth a try :) x

[China Doll]

Hey Bubbles,

One of my mums mates used to shout all the time, my mum wears a hearing aid and even she'd take it out when this woman came over.

The first time I met her I sat there for five minutes before I said 'you do know you're shouting don't you?' She looked a bit stunned but then she laughed and just said 'Am I' so I said yes and made a joke about I could hear her if she just kept it down to a dull roar but that the current pitch was like a fog horn to the brain. She laughed her arse off and caught herself whenever she did it again. My mum still wonders why she never thought to ask.

Also, people here are right too... an underlying hearing problem could be the root of it too.

I'd just tell her she's shouting.

[smudge]

Many years ago, we engaged a a temp at work. She tended to 'shout' every word, whether on the switchboard or to people in reception.

I was walking past her one day & simply put my finger to my mouth & said "Shhhh" - she soon got the message!

[liquidspace]

The opposite is equally bad. A girl at work here practially whispers every word, I always end up putting my hand to my ear when she speaks, but she just repeats it at the same volume. I tend to speak louder to her so she gets the message.

I guess if you whispered back to this woman she might take the hint, otherwise just tell her.

[joko]

make a joke of it - say "all right foghorn i am only here, no need to shout" and laugh.

if you keep doing that she will realise, or even ask you seriously if she is shouting, that way it doesn't sound like you are confronting her about it and that its no big deal.

if you do something contrived - like turn up with ear plugs in - she will think you have been thinking about it and agonising over it for ages

[Teddy_Tum]

My other half shouts a lot without realising it and the other day I got a biro and wrote, 'I shout a lot' in capital letters across his belly. Sorry, I know this doesn't help you, but I thought it might cheer you up!