Friends to Lovers argument

[SSquirrel]

Where does everyone stand on this - If you've known someone for a while and then start dating them, is it ok to slepp with them on the first official date?

[ummmm]

Yes it's ok because you know them.....

I wouldn't though!!

[whiffey]

I think you should wait at least 3 months before having sex. This is the greatest statement of closeness you can make to another human being, if you bonk on day one, what is there left to give ?

[laurence2]

Yes & No i would say.

Yes, because you.ve known them for some while and you both feel comfortable with it.

No, because people might think that it very tarty {thats for both of you} or it might imply that its been going on{sex wise} longer than you are letting on

Hope that makes some sort of sense.

Why do you ask by the way, has someone questioned it

[SSquirrel]

My friend is saying I'm a prude and will be thought of as frigid. But I say Ok it's been slow burning for a while but I'd like to date for a bit and see how that relationship works first! And I think I'd risk being seen as a horny tart!

[B00]

Bah....it's no biggy, if you want to, sleep with them, if you dont...well then don't!

Life's too short to be worrying about piddling things like this.

[Eve]

There are no rules, just go with whatever you feel comfortable with.

If you're not comfortable sleeping with them straightaway then don't, maybe explain to him though why so he understands.

It may set some good grounding between your friendship and relationship, albeit one is an extension of the other, that you're not just friends who have sex if you know what I mean.

x

[laurence2]

ssquirrel, forget my above post, just ask him to get you a mrs peek pudding, then feel free to do what you like

[whiffey]

What a strange and horribly cheap yardstick this is. Sleeping with somebody - i.e. taking all your clothes off and committing to the closest act of union possible. Can't you reserve it for that very special person ? Is it an expectation, rise above it.

[SSquirrel]

Laurence2, I'd do anything for a Mrs Peeks Christmas Pudding!

[Athley]

Wot is so great about Mrs Peeks Christmas pud?

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, if you have known them for a while, i dont se the problem in waiting. All depends on how well you know them...

[RATTER15]

If I found that my date was available for sex on the fist night, I would just be thinking about how many dates/sex guys she has been with before, I don't want to be at the end of a long list or with a dose of anything, GROSS!!!

I have never expected sex from a new date, only from an established relationship and even then I wouldn't say I actually expect it, its never a forgone conclusion.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, you obviously dont get many dates RATTER15 :)
There arent many girls around who are still virgins. She has most likely slept with loads before you, so i dont see that it matters if she sleeps with you on the first date. It all depends on the mood and settings, etc.

[RATTER15]

MrBen5, I don't date anymore, I am with the Woman of my dreams, and she didn't need to offer sex or throw herself at me.
Ive done my share of dating and never resorted to slappers!!

And did I mention a virgin??

I just never wanted a women that has had more Pr!cks than a second hand dart board!!

[whiffey]

MrBen5, if you go knobbing everything that moves then you've got little of real meaning left to give. Mood, settings, yes all that stuff, IKEA scented candles, forget love, it's a 21st century irrelevancy.

[andover888]

I think it's about trying to think about how you would feel after you've slept with them.
If you think you'd feel good then do it.......??
If you think you might feel, not so good then maybe keep mulling it.
I'm sure there's a friend you have that'll say the opposite to the one that says you�re a prude.
If in doubt do nowt