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Supernick | 11:01 Fri 22nd Dec 2006 | Body & Soul
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There's a mouse in the flat, and it's given me the shock of my life. I've just been unloading the dishwasher, and he shot out from behind the bin, and struggled through the vent at the bottom of the freezer, the little fatty. He's been gobbling up whatever toppings were left in the pizza box I had listed for recycling, but he's got to go. How am I going to get rid of him, or at least discourage him from coming back into the flat? I've kind of got a grudging respect for the little fella - he's 22 floors up for goodness sake.
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Leave out a nice chunk of Christmas pudding generously laced with brandy on Christmas night and when you wake up on Boxing Day morning he'll be lying totally drunk with a hangover on your kitchen floor. Then you can gently pick him up, go for a nice long walk and deposit him somewhere safely. But don't forget to leave a mince pie beside him so that when he wakes up he'll have something to eat !

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