Help ME!!

[dee5]

I will make this as short as i can. I recently split up with my fiance. We are on good terms and he has a new girlfriend. At the weekedn i was speaking to one of our friends and he made it pretty obvious that he likes me and that he would like to go out with me, but i thought it was just the drink talking so i took no nootice of him. then when i got home he sent me a text saying 'I am ready to pamper you. Show you some attention if you like' I got so freaked out that i didnt reply and turned my phone off. What i want some help with is, do i reply and ask him are you being serious or shall i just ignore it thinking it was the drink talking? PLUS the other thing if we did end up going out is i would feel really bad for my ex as he is his mate aswell!!!

[mycats]

Well the only thing you need to ask yourself is- do you like him too?
If you do then go for it, if you dont then it doesnt matter how he feels.
Your ex has moved on, its nothing to do with him

[redcrx]

well firstly you need to decide if you want to see this other guy? If youre not interested or if you dont see it ever having a future then it wouldnt be worth it.
If you like him and are interested then maybe ask your ex if he would mind if you two dated. If he says that he doesnt want the tow of you going out then just let the other guy down gently.
Its really not fair just to ignore him.

[dee5]

I do like him and i am going to assume that my ex isnt going to be bothered as he is going out with one of my mates and never bothered to ask me. (Yeah i know its meant to be different for blokes!)
I dont want to sound stupid and ask him if he was having a laugh and it turns out he was.

[redcrx]

just because your ex went out with your friend without checking your feelings doesnt mean that you can do the same. Show him youre at least considerate of what he may feel.

[Octavius]

As said, nout to do with ex. He is out of the equation.

How much do you trust this new fella? Could it be that he is seeing you in a vulnerable state and is hoping that maybe you can be 'friends with benefits' without anything serious? If so, is that what you want?

He may be genuine and not taking advantage of you at a difficult time, but instinctively, you would probably know that or at least have a fair judgement of what you might be getting into.

[maggie01]

If you have split, why is it bad for you to go out with one of his friends? I can never understand this. If your ex is happy with someone else then you should be free to go out with whoever you like. Mates of his or not.

[lorla]

How about texting him and asking if he remembers what he sent you? Hopefully his reply will give something away - like he might say 'no, haven't a clue - I was so drunk ignore everything I said' or perhaps it'll be something like 'yes I was drunk but I meant what I said'. Might be worth trying?

[ummmm]

Or text him 'was that meant for me'

[dee5]

I dont understand it either maggie01 but it is just how i feel.
If i was to text him back what should i say? Should i mention it or just ask him about the weekend?
I do really like him and have done for ages, we nearly went out before i got together with my ex, but as i had been out with my ex before i went with what i knew instead of something new. When i was going out with my ex he would always tell him to look after me and that i was special.

[Octavius]

So why does this new approach, now that you are a singleton, surprise you so much?

Seems to me that mutual attraction has being going on for a while but out of the question as you were with someone, therefore if the only issue is your ex I would say go for it.

[Eric Git]

Hi, Why not just text him back saying, 'if you're being serious then let's meet up and get it on, if not then you owe me a large vodka and coke next time you see me'. That way it shows that you are interested but not bothered either way. As for how oyu'd feel if you do see him, I'd think you'd feel great and b*gger the ex.

[badgerchops]

Let a third mutual friend know so it gets back to him. Say 'it gave me something to consider but i think he was joking'. Ask them to have a word
If you get good feedback then have a word with your ex and say 'is this cool '
Your ex is fine and will have no concerns, he has no right
it sounds like you do like this chap so rather than making a fool of yourself just let it be known that your intrigued

[dee5]

I still havent plucked up the courage to text him. i have written about 5 messages then just delete them. Why are things like this so hard?

[geminij]

the longer you leave it the harder it will be, and think how he is feeling now about no reply.

[dee5]

ok i just sent the text. i am shaking and feeling sick and everything

[badgerchops]

Heh Dee,

whats the update ?

Has he replied?

[dee5]

Yeah, he said he was sorry if he offended me and that he would see me around.
Now im more confused!! I think i might have left it to long to text hm back and now he thinks im not interested.

[nic2006]

he is scared of rejection - simple. He is probably just as worried about your ex and how it would look etc. Poor you it gets harder and harder the longer you leave it. My advice? Text him and say something like i wasnt offended i just didnt know what to reply...do you fancy going out for a drink or something at the weekend? Easy as that. the ball is then in his court to reply. Sounds to me like you both really like each other and it could work out. dont pass up the chace for happiness.

GOOD LUCK ! x