ChatterBank2 mins ago
Advice please
11 Answers
This situation has been ongoing for several months, anyway I'll get down to the question...
If you've been speaking to someone for about 5 1/2 months (when you see them everyday, making an effort to stop being busy and going over to talk to them), then you suggest watching a film at their place, does that mean that you're interested in that person on a sexual level or in just friendship?
Know him fairly well, well enough to know he's decent but am a tad confused at his motives as he doesn't give much away!
Any advice would be appreciated, thankx
If you've been speaking to someone for about 5 1/2 months (when you see them everyday, making an effort to stop being busy and going over to talk to them), then you suggest watching a film at their place, does that mean that you're interested in that person on a sexual level or in just friendship?
Know him fairly well, well enough to know he's decent but am a tad confused at his motives as he doesn't give much away!
Any advice would be appreciated, thankx
Answers
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I'd be a bit uncertain about being invited round to his rather that going out somewhere first and getting to know each other a bit.
Not knowing either of you I'd be concerned about any sexual motive, didn't he suggest helping with a computer before or similar?
Could you suggest going to the cinema or something like that?
Not knowing either of you I'd be concerned about any sexual motive, didn't he suggest helping with a computer before or similar?
Could you suggest going to the cinema or something like that?
Could be a toe in the water to see if you're interested.
Has the past included any situations of flirtation or talk that is more than just 'friendly' ?
You will, of course, be able to tell almost instantly when you walk in the place. If he's gone to town with soft light, fragrant candles etc. then its fairly safe to assume that he isn't planning on discussing the driving and saying all the lines out loud to the 'Italian Job'.
Ask yourself what you would do if he was wanting more than just friendship? Its important that he is clear though, to avoid confusion. If either of you misread the situation then it could affect your relationship.
Hope it helps,
Enjoy the film. :)
Has the past included any situations of flirtation or talk that is more than just 'friendly' ?
You will, of course, be able to tell almost instantly when you walk in the place. If he's gone to town with soft light, fragrant candles etc. then its fairly safe to assume that he isn't planning on discussing the driving and saying all the lines out loud to the 'Italian Job'.
Ask yourself what you would do if he was wanting more than just friendship? Its important that he is clear though, to avoid confusion. If either of you misread the situation then it could affect your relationship.
Hope it helps,
Enjoy the film. :)
Didn't state clearly that he mean't coming for a film at my place (he lives with his mum, has done since his split about 6 or 7 months ago).
Jenna - that's the one, asked about coming round mine so I can teach him how to sell on the net.
When he said friday to watch a film I actually said that friday I'm actually free as my kids are sleeping over at their Dads to which he responded 'you check and you can tell me tomorrow'.
He's definitely not a 'heart on your sleeve' type of guy but knowing that I'm not tied to the house on friday night, I found it kind of strange how he didn't say 'why don't we go for a drink' sort of thing.
Maybe I worry too much and am too cautious!
Jenna - that's the one, asked about coming round mine so I can teach him how to sell on the net.
When he said friday to watch a film I actually said that friday I'm actually free as my kids are sleeping over at their Dads to which he responded 'you check and you can tell me tomorrow'.
He's definitely not a 'heart on your sleeve' type of guy but knowing that I'm not tied to the house on friday night, I found it kind of strange how he didn't say 'why don't we go for a drink' sort of thing.
Maybe I worry too much and am too cautious!
Think I read your post a couple months ago about the net/ebay thing, he sounds safe to me and a decent chap but you know him better than any of us. Trust your instincts.
A neutral venue for first date (if it's that) would be better and a backup plan for a friend to call you an hour in, for a made up emergency if you needed it!
He may not be a pub/drink kind of guy, think you're over analysing a bit but at least you're wary about it. Perhaps he picks up on your feelings and doesn't want to make it seem like a date to you.
As for motives, and sexual or friendship level, what are your feelings on this one? do you like him in a sexual way or just as a friend?
Honesty is the best policy, just talk to him about how you feel. If he's only a friend to you, you'll soon know if he feels the same way too after you tell him that!
A neutral venue for first date (if it's that) would be better and a backup plan for a friend to call you an hour in, for a made up emergency if you needed it!
He may not be a pub/drink kind of guy, think you're over analysing a bit but at least you're wary about it. Perhaps he picks up on your feelings and doesn't want to make it seem like a date to you.
As for motives, and sexual or friendship level, what are your feelings on this one? do you like him in a sexual way or just as a friend?
Honesty is the best policy, just talk to him about how you feel. If he's only a friend to you, you'll soon know if he feels the same way too after you tell him that!
katangel-he fanices you, I'm sure of it. Only you can decide whether it's OK to have him round your house. He may not have suggested going out for a drink because it's such a long time since he 'dated' and is a bit shy about being seen by friends or whatever if it turns out you don't fancy him back and no more comes of it.
Be careful but have fun! You'll be fine x
Be careful but have fun! You'll be fine x
Stop fannying around.
The real question is 'What are your motives?'
Do you like him? Are you interested in that person on a sexual level?
If so, make it so he understands you are interested in him.
as him how he feels about this and ask him is he interested in you in the same fashion?
Making the first move is good you may have a wonderful future together - you may save yourself a lot of time and thought.
COMMUNICATE
The real question is 'What are your motives?'
Do you like him? Are you interested in that person on a sexual level?
If so, make it so he understands you are interested in him.
as him how he feels about this and ask him is he interested in you in the same fashion?
Making the first move is good you may have a wonderful future together - you may save yourself a lot of time and thought.
COMMUNICATE
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