what should I do about difficult colleague?

[tigerthecat]

I am working in a small organisation where a new member of staff was recruited a month or two ago. Unfortunartely for her she was employed without any knowledge of the role and so it was a bit of a shock to her (I think). As a result she went to other people outside of our organisation and slagged us ALL off. This was reported back to us by a number of other professionals. One of our team went to the manager who has spoken to the new recruit and put some additional training in for her. She clearly has no understanding of the impact of her behaviour and is oblivious as to how to rebuild relationships. She has now gone to a close colleague of mine to say she finds it very difficult to talk to me. She's right! What should I do I am hurt/angry about what she has said about us all and although I will talk to her about the work I have given her I am unable to overcome my resentment of her. What should I do? I don't want to be a bully and she is a colleague and not a friend so I am unable to have the chat I have with my friends in work.

[raysparx1]

Tell her how you feel,that what she said was out of order and if she has something to say about anybody to say it to their face, then smile at her, shake her hand, introduce yourself and say " shall we start again ? " and see how it goes, good luck, Ray

[sunflower68]

Tiger I agree with Ray. Although she has been there a couple of months, think of yourself first and foremost.

We spend such a huge amount of our day at work - we just HAVE to get on as it is such a huge part of our life.

It is not too late to nip it in the bud. Forget the past if you can - resentment may breed more tension which ultimately is something you are then gonna have to live with for 8 or so hours of your day.
Pretend you know nothing of what she has done and have a quiet, sickeningly friendly (albeit fake) chat with her. So that she cannot fail to like you. Don't argue then there is no excuse for her to do so.
Starting from scratch, see if she ***** up again. If she does, it is time for a plan B. Good luck.

[Goodsoulette]

We had a similar situation at my work, a girl started seemed really nice, then went for a drink with my boyfriend and slagged us all of including me. A lot of the things she said was either the wrong perception or she was just plain making things up. Fortunately she was a known drama queen, so it held no water. She was also the typ of person to go to one colleague make something up, then go to the other and tell them something else about the other person. Everyone tried to be nice, and put it down to trying to find a way into a tight team. After a couple of months of it though, noone was prepared to talk to her about anything other than work related. She handed in her notice, and when asked why? She replied it was because we were all bitchy but then got the response from the boss, that maybe she should think about these things before she goes running off to tell staffs family members lies etc etc and shouldnt act the same way in her next job.

I wouldnt take it personally. Some people are just like it. Dont mingle with her, just do what you have to to get by, but dont put yourself in a position where she can say you have been bullying her.

[chicklin]

I know this isn't exactly answering the question - but doesnt raysparx give some cracking answers? they're always helpful and full of sense.......in other words its exactly what i would have said!..... lol!

[naz_nomad]

Do what ray said, but chuck a swift slap in there somewhere

[ChampagneMan]

I agree with the Gent above.. Slap the lil Bit*h hard.. Its the only way the lil Who*e will learn to respect office privacy!!

[naz_nomad]

Woohoo ....'Gent' ... get a loadda me !

[raysparx1]

Aww chicklin, thank you, but in all honesty,I would have probably done as naz & Champagneman said, but I am behaving myself lately and showing great restraint, cos I have been told off quite a lot for swearing and being abusive, so thanks again, bl00dy horrible up here at the moment isn't it. sorry tiger.