cringe

[tradey]

well this is a hard one for me,right here goes,i love my hubby so much more than he will ever know,but the problem is sometimes i hate it when he touches me,and making love i cant be bothered,its been like this since i had my daughter 3yrs ago, ive tried putting it to the back of my head,but i think there must be something wrong with me,is there anyone else just like me

[stylinsam]

hi tradey i had the same problem a few weeks ago (although i havnt had a baby) maybe do u feel insecure about your body in anyway cos that can affect it, or maybe you are stressed with looking after your daughter etc that u dnt feel like anything at the end of the day i think the best thing to do is maybe talk to your hubby and if it doesnt resolve anything then maybe go and see your gp just for a chat etc (as a last resort) xxx hope this helps SAMxx

[redcrx]

hey tradey,
I wonder if maybe its the fact that you are a mother now? I am sometimes the same way and i have an 18 month old. I put it down to the fact that after a day looking after a toddler, a house and working full time im pretty shattered. My partner comes home and although he does help out around the house its as if he does it under duress. This irritates me and then i find it harder to get all lovey dovey. Its as if i am avoiding the closeness because I am annoyed with him (for no real reason) and this is easier than talking about it because it can seem a bit childish to complain that hes not working as hard as i am when in fairness he is.

I love him to bits as well and its not always like this but it does happen more frequently than i like.

Just read that back and its a bit waffly, i hope you can understand what i mean lol

[ummmm]

awww bless you tradey.

I think a lot comes down to your mindset. You get use ti being a certain way and it becomes a habit. How do you feel when you do make love? Do you still cringe or do you enjoy it at the time?

[tradey]

thankyou to you all,i feel really horride to my hubby,i dont mean to be at all,i really do love him,when we start to make love i enjoy it,but sometimes id wish he would just cuddle me,i cant stand the touching before,sometimes i wish he would leave me alone,and in my head im saying it,bet you all think me terrible,hope this makes sence

[Hellion]

I think lots of us often feel like that Tradey it's not you and it doesn't mean you don't love your husband but after having children you're often so exhausted that when someone says 'lets go to bed early' your first thought is 'Yay! sleep'. The other thing is that having a baby can seriuosly disrupt your hormones and (although they get blamed for a lot of things) that can have a genuine effect on your libido. You can always ask the Doctor to have your hormone levels checked - I don't know your age but I was 39 when I had my son and it triggered early menopause which seriously affected my libido until I'd gone through the menopause completely.

[lainiej]

Hi tradey. Ditto !! I rarely want to have sex and when I do I want it to be over and dont want to be touched. In other words on the rare occasions that I 'give in' to my hubby I just want him to have an orgasm and get off. Like you, I love my bloke too but I tried to explain to him recently that now its like we're really good mates and its hard to get turned on by a good mate. If you find the answer please let me know !! My baby is now 15 so I cant use that as a reason !! Elaine x

[tradey]

i was 36 when i had her ,maybe thats what it is hellion,i think ill get down to the docs and get it checked out.im so glad there others of you who are feeling the same,im like you lainiej just want it to be over and done with.thankyou again for your help and advice xx