Sir/Madam/Mate/Lovely

[johnlambert]

I've just paid a cheque into my bank and was quite astonished to be called "my lovely" by the girl proccessing said cheque. On my way home I filled up the car at the garage, only to be told when handing over the johnlambert debit card "cheers mate". MATE????? as far as I can remember, we have never been introduced, so how can we be mates? Is it just me? were my colleagues and officers in the Army right when they said that my standards were too high? I remember (not so long ago) that when you bought goods from anywhere, you addressed either as "Sir" or, if you were a lady "madam/miss". When did I become every shop assistant/pub barman,/ petrol attendants /policemans mate?

[redcrx]

Im with you on this John, if Im the customer then if I am going to be addressed at all then the person addressing you should say something other than 'love' 'mate' 'sugar'........ If they cant do that then Id rather they said nothing. Once i get to know a customer or supplier over a period of time then familiarity often means i may get called 'mate' during the course of a chat.
Of course if (as Elvis says) I open the door and someone says 'cheers mate' then I take it as a gesture of thanks as was intended, some people never even bother thanking, theyre the really illmannered ones.

[johnlambert]

It would be if he was ex army ELVIS,
going back to your "holding a dor open" point, I do that as a matter of curtesy, and , no I dont expect to be called sir for that, a plain and simple "thank you" would suffice.
When I was promoted to Sgt, I entered the Sgt's Mess (an institution very hard to gain entry to) I was informed by the Mess waiter that from now on, when I was in the Mess, I would be addressed as "sir", by all the Mess staff. Even when I protested that I was only a mere Sergeant, he replyed that good manners dictated that I should by addresed "sir" as I was now paying for his services.

[jedimistress]

Don't move here (Devon) as everyone calls you my lover or my lovely. I love it!!!!

[johnlambert]

Curses, foiled again,
I was hoping to retire to Devon/Cornwall :-(

[ELVIS68]

Blimey...look at the time, would love to hear more army tales but I`ve gotta pick the kids up from school

Another time eh?....mate!! :o)

[Robinia]

I'd rather be called love, darling or, even mi duck* than HUN!!!! I absolutely hate it!!

*I live in the E. Midlands

[good-arras]

I don't have a problem with 'mate' if it's a stranger in the street asking for the time but I think it's inappropriate in a situation where you're a paying customer.

Could have been worse though, he could have called you mush, that's horrendous but luckily you don't seem to hear it that much any more.

[Champagne]

I'm 34, John, and I have to say that I consider 'Sir' to be quite old fashioned. Though I have to say that I have used that title when I did shop work in my teens!

I am always courteous when meeting people and would like think that I refer to people with the appropriate title. I've been introduced to friends' parents in the past and always called them Mr. or Mrs. so and so, until they asked me to do otherwise.

I do agree with you to a certain extent though. I don't like people being over-familiar with me when we first meet. And certainly, when I'm the customer, I expect to be called Miss. Champagne or Madam, or even just a polite 'good morning' or 'thank you' will suffice.

[joko]

what about mister??
after all women are mrs.?

John - you say it is a sign of respect, and then you say respect has to be earned...well given that you do not know these people and they do not know you, why should they respect you?
you have not earned their respect.

the day a sales assisant respects you just for coming into his shop to buy something, i will eat my hat.

and by the way, the nurses are helping you, not the other way round, so perhaps you should be showing them respect.

respect that is forced or just routine is not real respect.

[Mammar]

I do agree with you and on the occasions when I've visited Army bases I have loved being "Ma'am"ed!
However, there are times when, despite trying to be professional, the occasional "dear" or "love" will slip out.
I try not to let it happen but it just does! To apologise for it would just make the matter worse, don't you think?
Forgive me?

[StudentGal]

I was always called 'Duck' where I come from and now I am at university, everyone calls each other 'chicken' or 'my lovely'. It's just everyones different ways of being polite. Sorry John but if you can't see it's just different peoples ways of being nice to you then you'll be very frustrated at a lot of people for a very long time.

Some people find it offensive to be called Sir/Ma'am. I personaly HATE being called Ma'am whenever I go anywhere to do with the army because I think "They don't mean it, they're saying it because they're told to"

Each to their own

[smiffy65]

if they wanted to be called nurse, why do they have a name badge with there christian name on ,
alright chuck lol

[banjosister]

If I am not asked and someone starts calling me by my first name I will insist on being called Mrs .................

I think it's an age thing lol xx

[smiffy65]

I would rather be called by my first name always,cos lets face who wants to be called Mrs Smith.
When I worked as a barmaidWhoops sorry barperson,A scouse lad used to come up to the bar and shout at me "give us a pint gerl", I hated it, and when I objected to it he said well what do you want me to call you "old woman"

[mycats]

Its the same with kids these days (God that made me feel old lol) when I was young, we called our friends parents Mr or Mrs whatever, all adults actually unless they were family, close family friends or had asked you to use their first names. Kids now start off by using your first name.
I quite like the American thing where they call their parents sir or maam lol, I dont know why.

[branchinghen]

lmfao , people have to earn the right to call you sir?

get over yourself you clown!

[StudentGal]

mycats, I used to call my friends parents their first names or say for example my friend was called Fred, I would say,
"Hi Fred's Mum, Hi Fred's Dad!" :D