how important is it ?

[crete]

how important is fidelity in a relationship?

[starry eyes]

Ummmmm..........VERY.
Who wants to be with someone knowing that they are (or have been) with someone else.

[Sasha13]

Depends if they get in a strop when I play away all the time and they find they can't pull anyone else.

[legend759]

without fidelity there is no relationship.
there might be an arrangement of sorts but never could it be called a relationship.
not in my eyes anyway.

[Sasha13]

Oh I dunno - I have a great relationship going at the moment - he comes round when I fancy a bit then pi$$es off home again when I've had enough so I can have my King size bed to myself.

[4getmenot]

but would you be annoyed if he was then going home to someone else Sasha13??

[Sasha13]

pa___________ul - which one?! lol

4getmenot - I don't think he is, but as far as I'm aware, he may be. He was honest and upfront about his intentions towards me from the beginning and I've made a decision to keep on seeing him occasionally based on that knowledge.

I should clarify incase I come across as a bit of a slapper! - If I were in an actual relationship with someone I would expect 100% fidelity as this is what I would give in return. But different people have different ideas of what fidelity is. Some people would consider a drunken snog to be cheating on someone whereas I'm not sure I have this opinion. I think I would rather, to an extent, have trust - I'd rather if a bloke I was in a relationship with got carried away and kissed another girl he told me about it, than him be doing it behind my back. If I found out about anything going on from someone other than him I'd have a bigger problem with the fact he hid it from me, than did it in the first place.

[4getmenot]

but thats Just it caz sometimes it called �mucking about� and people like it because we shouldn�t be doing it. I agree that if you loved someone enough you wouldn�t do it in the first place. But I have seen peoples blokes, wouldn�t now coz I�ve grown up and realise how much it must have hurt the other person.

[4getmenot]

Sasha do you really like this bloke, because usually in these �casual� relationships someone gets hurt.

[Sasha13]

I like him yes - would I want a relationship with him? I thought I did at one point but having got to know him better the answer is a resounding no.

[crete]

the main issue with people cheating is that someone is getting lied to , if a relationship is ending surely the decent thing to do is end the relationship before embarking on a new one.

[4getmenot]

but thats the thing she'll never find her Mr Right while she's involved with Mr Wrong. Sorry to be judging you, I dont know your life at all. but it sounds very much like what I used to do. Guess I'm just proud of myself now I've stopped.

[Sasha13]

Absolutely and in the past when I've been in a relationship and been tempted by someone else, I've finished the relationship before 'having dabbles'! (lol pa___ul)

The problem occurs when two people have different expectations - if one person thinks their partner is faithful and it turns out they're not, that's when there's an issue!

[crete]

no, one piece of cake at a time should be sufficient , pa.ul

[Sasha13]

I'd agree - I've had to draw up the ground rules to an extent. This guy told me he wasn't up for a relationship but kept texting and calling me anyway. I told him to stop it as it made it hard to see the relationship for what it is. He's done as I asked and now we just see each other occasionally and meet up every so often. Suits me fine - I have no romantic notions that one day he's going to turn around to me and say 'I made a mistake, I love you' and when I get bored of it, I'll stop it!