depressed....

[sair5412]

The slightest noise irritates me (like my son just dropping some money on the coffee table) and it feels like my head is going to explode. My skin is sensitive to touch all over my torso. I am having my period about every 3 weeks instead of 30 days. I have psoriosis in my hair and between my fingers. I suffer from crippling irritable bowel syndrome.

I feel i am ruining everyone elses lives around me. My sons, my parents and it would eventually be easier for them if i wasn't here. I have nothing to look forward to. No plans for the week, the weekend, next month, next year. Everything is dark and i feel like my future is like looking down a deep dark well. I see nothing. I can't admit all this to my doctor because i don't want it to go on any sort of record or them to take my son off me or for them to think i would ever hurt him because i wouldn't. I wouldn't do anything to myself either because I am too much of a wimp. I just don't know what i want.

Talking to friends isn't really helping because they say how it's all in my head and i need to think positive and bite the bullet and get into work and keep myself busy but it is not that easy, sometimes it is phsyically impossible. I have discussed giving up work and concentrating on getting better and finding a new job in september when my son starts school, but I feel they think i am being lazy and just can't be bothered to work. I can't make this desicion and it's just bouncing round in my head. I am supposed to be in tomorrow but seeing as today i couldnt wake up and had to ring my dad to pick my son up and take him to school, i'm not sure. My dad came in and just asked "Come on then... what's up?" I don't know.... EVERYTHING!

[crete]

hi sair see the other answers to an other post

[mullein]

Sair5412 sorry to hear about your problems but it is good that you realise that you have a problem. Depression has varying degrees and the way you feel will make your Psoriasis worse, as your mental wellbeing greatly affects your psoriasis. You have two choices do something or do nothing. If you do nothing nothing will change and I hate to say this you could get worse. So do something, I assume you're not happy at work because if you were you would not consider walking away. You did not mention your finances but again if you are considering leaving then I am assuming you can afford to do so.
I would give your work notification that you intend to leave, if you have regrets you can still change your mind but I feel you will feel relief. Then give yourself a break and start doing things that you enjoy, even if it means voluntary work. You need to move outside the circle of people you are around at the moment and try doing things that give you joy. Remember that you have only one life and dont spend it depressed when you have it within you to change. I sense as well that you are unhappy about your weight. You can do something about that as well. You will be amazed how regular walking can help your mood and shift a few pounds at the same time. Best of luck and I do really believe that once you have made decisions to change, you will feel much better.
All the best.

[Whoever]

Irritable bowel syndrome is very debilitating. Yiu sound as if you're probably exhausted from it. Have you learnt the art of total relaxation and deep breathing which over a period of time could help you feel physically better. Why not go to your local library or look online for books on relaxation. Start by just lying on the bed or floor, closing your eyes, letting or your muscles go limp. Breathe in deeply for five seconds, hold for five seconds,then breathe out for five seconds.

Practice doing this two or three times a day, letting your mind go completely blank.

You are not useless. Other love and need you. Start the healing process by learning to love yourself a little more, and by looking after yourself. Don't expect sudden miracles. Working at some simple techniques like this every day will gradually help to turn yourself around. And every night, before you go to sleep, do knew last set of deep breathing exercises and remind yourself of three positive things in your life.

And hold onto them as you drift off to sleep