Perfect man to perfect pig

[poopy]

Bin with my fella for 8 years. Bin through some stuff (his affair) and we now have a beautiful baby boy. Thing is for the first 6years he treated me like a pricess. We were the best of friends - absolute soul mates.

Then his affair and since the affair he has totally changed. He spends no time with me or the baby, doesnt do anything at all for me or the baby, wouldnt buy me anything for my 1st mothers day. Off out with his mates all time. Doesnt want to talk about anything. He is now a total pig and Im starting to really hate him.

He doesnt make any effort for me at all, ive even told him Im sick of waking up on a morning! He says he's not bothered about me just the baby.

We dont argue or anything - its just like he has his life and Im just here!!! Am I floggin a dead horse here or wot? I dont want to throw away 8-9years of my life but i cant go on like this.

[curlyperm]

Sorry to hear its all gone pearshaped, but sometimes thats just life? He sounds like a complete ars*hole (sorry) but he does, and far too immature to cope with the responibility of a new baby? Can i just say one thing (and take it from someone who knows)
BETTER TO 'THROW AWAY' 8 OR 9 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE, THEN SUDDNELY WAKE UP AND REALISE ITS TURNED INTO 18 OR 19!!! Not shouting just trying to make you realise.......... if you are sure its not gonna work, then you wouldnt see me for dust! Think about the child. x

[poopy]

thank you for your reply. deep down i know the answer. many thanks anyway.

[happyred]

I have to say i agree with curlyperm!
What kind of life is your son going to have with a father that treats his mum like crap?! There is no point whatsoever in staying with somebody who doesn't love you, and i have to add that if i was to find out that my partner had been having an affair, its then that i would of ended it. I could never be in a relationship where there's no trust. I've been there and it doesn't work. He obviously has no respect for you. But you must always have respect for yourself. You and your son's happiness is all that matters.
You go and get yourself your own life babe, with your son, and make the best of it. xx

[coco2]

I am sorry he treats you like this. I agree with what the other two people said. it must be so hard for you as you have a child with him and you cant help who you love. (if you still love him). you deserve so much better - to be in a relationship with someone who will cherish you and would never dream of slightly making you feel this way. it takes courage to walk away but for your own wellbeing and your childs .. do it. enjoy your life and dont have any regrets.

[murphyahp]

Sorry to hear about your troubles... but I think you only need to ask yourself one question "IS THIS HOW YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE". You may forget about the years you have already invested with him, they are gone. It's the future you need to think of for you and your child. IF THIS IS NOT HOW YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, then only you have the power to do something about it.. Act now and then at least you will have the chance to find happiness again.

Best of luck.

[ReinaLuna]

I think if you are still with him, it's because your self-esteem must be really low. Probably you are afraid of sending him to hell, because you think you won't find anyone else? please, trust yourself, believe that there are many nice guys out there in the world, and you might be missing the opportunity of being with one of them, because you are stuck in this dead relationship.
Like you said, you already know the answer: leave him. Time to say goodbye! You know what might happen, after you separate, he will think about it and maybe will start to give you proper value, so, give yourself a chance to be happy and if he notices later what he has lost, and you still feel something, you can go back together... but now, it's really not meant to.

[LLASY]

I think reinaluna has hit the nail on the head. Do your self a big favour and leave him. The child needs to grow in a happy and loving environment. I brought up my two daughters on my own, it was a bit of a struggle financially (There weren't so many benefits then) They are stable well adjusted young ladies now, they have learnt many values and I am very very proud of them both. This proves that One parenting does no harm and better the child is happy. I am not diregarding you at all poopy, but you know deep down what you should do. If he comes back and you still want him then it was meant to be. In the mean time don't compromise yourself. There is far better out there!

[mrsflowers]

Hi, I've just separated from my husband of 10 years who I thought was my best friend. We have a 7 year old son. To cut a long story short, it's the best thing that could have happened to me (altho I was heartbroken and grief stricken at first). It's only now that I can see how selfish he was and that he didn't really care for me or our son like a husband/father should. I know it's going to be hard for a long time on my own but I have values and self respect as you should - I'm not going to dwell on the 12 years we have been together, there were good times and bad but I am looking forward to a future where I can be myself, do the best for my son who means the world to me.

[poopy]

i dont know if you guys will get this msg, i hope you do. but after posting this question, on the 8th april 2007 i packed up all my stuff & left. and do ya know what it was the BEST THING I HAVE EVER EVER DONE. he didnt giv a hoot about me or our son. ive learned so much about myself/life since, i only have nice ppl in my life now. me & my son are happy. My son is 6 years old now!!!! but i wanted to say thank you all so much.