Paranoia.....

[Silversky]

Does anyone get really paranoid in relationships, as if their other half doesn't love them? I keep getting really nervous and down about it.... Does it get better with time in the relationship? (Only been together for 3 months)

[LittleMissxx]

to be honest, i think u only feel that if its not right. intuition is a very good tool. unless of course your young, think we all feel like that when we are young.??

[Silversky]

Thanks for the reply- How do you mean 'if it's not right'?
As in like I have doubts of my love for him? And yes I am pretty young, so I'm guessing that it probably does have something to do with that.

[freak_unique]

I always get like this, but i get it really bad to the extent i feel so insecure and low about myself, and keep asking myself "why does anyone want me? why would anyone care". And with that i push them away in the hope they will come running back and prove to me they care, which works for a while then they get fedup of it and the whole trust situation gets brought into it i.e do i trust them. Ive ruined relationships over this so whatever you do dont push them away, talk to them about how you feel. Though seeing as you have only been together 3 months people do generally feel like this until youve settled into a routine together!

[Silversky]

Thanks for your kind comment too- I am generally a nervous jumpy person anyway, which doesn't really help. And everything you said in your reply reminded me of myself, especially with the hope thing. I have talked to him about it, quite often in fact. And he truly does love me, but even once he's said and tried to make me feel better, I'll suddenly find something else to feel sorry about, just making me worse and worse.

[freak_unique]

I totally understand what you are going through! The main thing is that he knows how you are feeling and that it is a problem that you have...so that if he knows this you can both work together to help combat things that probably trigger these paranoia attacks off (i know its there all the time but i seem to find things can trigger it off and make it worse). Sometimes , in relationships, ive been so paranoid at a certain time, that i have blown the simplest action totally out of proportion just by analysing every single action looking for a clue /to catch the person out that they dont really care and that they are going to leave...then after talking a few hours later il think back and i wont even understand my way of thinking at that present time and everything will seem clear and happy. But then give it a couple of days/weeks and il have a massive attack of it over again...blah its such a circle. It does sound to me, that you, like myself maybe have very low confidence and low self esteem?and maybe that is something you can work on?Or if it is proving too much of a problem and ruining everything - maybe a visit to your gp might help- they usually refer you to someone who can talk to you and help you deal with these feelings. My advice is though, dont accept any type of antidepressants they try to throw at you they really dont help in the long term!x

[badgerchops]

i am a committment phobic and so i am always paranoid that the other person will like me more than i am prepared to commit to.

So you see, we are completely different. You are paranoid that they dont love you and i am paranoid that they love me too much.

So not matter who you are people evaluate relationships. Dont worry... go with it and love will either grow or it wont. 3 months is so early into a relationship that you dont wanna scare the life out of them by over evaluating them. You clearly like this partner and so just enjoy them at this stage. thats all it should be about during the first year at least