trouble with evangelist types at the door

[gherkinfiend]

I am having terrible trouble with particularly Jehovah's Witnesses coming to my door...I had two different pairs on Friday and another 2 this morning. A big group of them go round my estate at least once a week.

I have tried saying 'no' politely, emphatically and rudely. Nothing works and I feel quite harrassed by them. I have big windows to my living room and they stand staring in for up to 5 minutes if I ignore the bell ringing, often rapping on the window too. They have even started stopping me as I leave my flat and following me...

I'm not religious, am relatively tolerant, but this is getting to be too much. i'm worried that the ruder I am the more they will try to convert me (as obviously only heathens yell at them!). What can I do to stop this? Can I report them to my council? (who I rent from)

I am unable to work to serious ill-health so I am in the house nearly all the time...

Any tips, tricks or hints please!

[angeldraws]

NO NO NO NO NO!

Jehovah's witnesses, are not evangelists for a start....not even evangelist TYPES!
Jehovahs Witnesses believe that to take the blood of another is to allow the SOUL of another into your body and to be possessed by the devil himself.......yes, folks, the devil himself!
The 'Give Blood' sticker on your door will certainly discourage a Jehovahs witness from engaging in conversation with you about their religious beliefs.
Also, if you know anything about the teachings of the bible, dear friends, use it to your own advantage, invite them in for tea, coffee, any other non-alcoholic beverage and treat them to YOUR version of the TRUTH....keep them for hours - like i do - your neighbours will love you - the jehovahs witnesses will love you - their god will love you - problem solved!!
Thank you, ladies & gents - i'm here all week.....! ;op

[paddywak]

my late father was raised in a what he termed "a very strict catholic orphanage" & could always manage to find some biblical quote to refute the Jehovas arguements they didn't like being beaten at there own game & stopped calling. Unfortunatly I don't know the bible that well so I just tell them to F**K off.

[ne2]

Tell them you're a spiritualist and medium. Jw's are terrified of them as the believe all medium's are in league with the beast! When they start their prattling look slightly over the shoulder of the one speaking as if you're looking at someone,then say you're a medium clairvoyant,you won't see their bums for dust!

[CHRISTINE175]

My brother has a great trick for unwanted callers at the door - or by phone.
Let them prattle for a minute or so then say 'Oh can you excuse me a second - I can hear my mobile ringing..'. Close the door over gently and let them stand there like muppets - they'll soon get the message. Works a treat with unwanted fone calls - especially when they fone u during Eastenders, Corrie - or a really good game of football !

[jump79]

Open the door and start speaking complete gobbledegook ... to make it more convincing, do a lot of nasal sounds (like the french) and waving hand gestures (like the Italians) and throw in "me no speak british" at the end. If they're still standing around, point at the sky worriedly, flap your arms, shout a few more mumbojumbo words, smile and then close the door.

[ReinaLuna]

huahuauahahahahaha this is one of the best threads now here, apart from the fart one I saw some days ago...!!!
People we could make even a contest here of which is the funniest answer, the most creative one, etc etc... I wonder what gherkinfiend will think of all that when he/she comes back to read the replies....

[gherkinfiend]

Ha ha, I'm actually quite looking forward to them calling again after reading all these ideas...its just deciding which one to try first!

I might go with blood donating, since the fact I actually am Catholic and Irish doesn't deter them...and if that doesn't work, then Ethel's tips are invaluable. I just don't want to feel like they've won and cost me my sense of humour!