get us a drink/ a snack/ my glasses will ya?

[liquidspace]

This is basically the main thing my partner has said to me over the weekend.

Makes me wonder, does your gf/bf ask you to get up and get things for him/her.

When both of us are reclining back on the sofas why is it he expects me to jump up and serve him?

[4getmenot]

does he not work?

[liquidspace]

Yes he knows that I know, (and that I dont like it ) it doesnt stop him though (seems to be something he cant help).
He would hate me to go and join him, its his private thing, his own little pleasure thing.
I went out last week and phoned him at 12.30 to see if he could pick me up, I couldnt get through - reason? he was on phone sex lines.

[4getmenot]

plus isnt there another man you like at the moment?

[liquidspace]

yes he works (as I say, he has people running around for him at work) and yes I like someone where I work but that wont come to anything, just a thing in my head really.

[nat_84]

Not being rude or anything but your fella doesnt sound very pleasant and he doesnt sound like he has much respect for you.

So its' up for you to tell him where to go....

I cant understand why you'd want to stay with him when he seems to aggrevate you so much and wind you up...?

[4getmenot]

oh right just wondered how he was doing at work now. Is there anything he does that pleases you?

[liquidspace]

Its a long story and he has done a lot worse to me but the reason I stay is financial, cant get out of my situation at the moment, its very frustrating and a huge problem to which there seems no solution.

[nat_84]

awww thats sad. :o(

My cousin is in the same situation, her and her hubby won the lottery last year and i think its done more harm than good.....she's not happy and he's the most miserable/boring horrible man...

But too many commitments... marriage, a young baby, money, new house and just about everything....

But its not impossible liquidspace.... if you're really unhappy then you CAN do something about it and despite whatever mayhem it may cause in the short-term, i'm sure you'll be happy in the long run...?

[liquidspace]

Thanks for the kind words, I have worked out my situation and cannot afford to live alone due to different financial factors. Have to sit it out at the moment!

[redcrx]

sounds like you have 2 options. You either leave and try and build a life where you are the boss and have independance or
you stay and live with him for financial reasons and benefits but have to put up with his attitude towards you.

Looks like youve made your decision.

[liquidspace]

Thats the point, I dont have that choice as I cannot afford to live alone, wish I could! I have worked it all out and Im left with 5 pounds a week for food and clothes etc!

[4getmenot]

I'm afraid thats where you went wrong relying too much on him in first place and now you rely on him on the financial side of things you're basically in sh!t. Not much can be done.

[Supernick]

My sympathies liquidspace.

1. I don't think an imbalance in a relationship is all bad if both parties are happy. You're not by all accounts, so you need to take a firmer line, even though it sounds as if that might be tricky. There are plenty of times when I've said to a gf "Can you make me a cup of tea" and she's done it, but then it's also happened vice versa.

2. Masturbation - 99% of blokes do it, and I do it even more in a relationship! There's no harm in it unless it affects your sex life - i.e. he's doing it instead of having sex with you. If that isn't the case then I think you might need to accept that it is perfectly natural. However, taunting you about it is clearly out of order.

[liquidspace]

I relied on him emotionally, he relied on my financially, now Im broke cos he took my money he has no use for me.
Another reason Im staying is that he owes me about 30k.

[nat_84]

Do u have kids together?

[4getmenot]

Oh my god, I really dont know what to say as I hope I'd never be silly enough to lend anyone that amount of money. I do feel for you but at end of day you've bought it on yourself as it seems to me he caught you at a very vulnerable time in your life.

[liquidspace]

No kids together no.
Yes It is my own fault and that somehow makes it more difficult to live with ! I know there is no easy answer to my situation so I dont expect one but thanks for listening anyway x

[4getmenot]

maybe look into what benefits you could get if on your own. My friend was in huge debt and she has just left her husband and has actually found she now has more money that she had before.

[liquidspace]

I have already, thats how I worked out Id have �5 a week left for food, clothes etc., I work full time but even with a benefit to help towards the rent, after bills etc im left with hardly anything to live on.

[~Wingnut~]

Hi liquidspcae :o)

So sorry to hear about your problems. You say your staying because he owes you a big amount of money, do you think or know that you are going to get it back (ie. he's waiting sale on a house etc.) as you say that's one of the reasons you are staying? Or are you saying your staying (other than you won't have anything to live on) because your scared that if you move out you will most definatly never get the money back? If you know for definate that you are going to get the money back then I can understand why you are wanting to stay but to me it sounds like that money's never coming to you. Have you been to the CAB? Other people have done it, yes it will be really tough to begin with but surely a life with no money and a (IMO) boyf who isn't particularly nice to you compared to a life with no money but a happier life there really is no contest. I really hope things work out for you as i feel from reading your posts on here that it has helped you a bit to talk about this.
<<Hugs>>