Obsessional Pal?

[Lezzel]

Wonder if anyone agrees with me here - my pal seems to be obsessed with her nephew. Since he was born she has given him everything. She spent over �500 for his 1st birthday for instance. In her flat she approx 6 pictures of him in her bdroom, one in her hall and 4 in her living room. She also has him on her mobile phone as a wallpaper!! Just seen what she has bought him for his next birthday and there is more clothes there than you can imagine. She keeps him overnight very often and on her only day off of the week she babysitts him even if his mum (her half sis!) is off work or something. If he goes away on hols with his parents she almost seems lost without him. She even keeps messages on her answerphone of him phoning. Maybe its me but i think she needs to stop this with him! and soon! Or am i wrong!??

[essex bloke]

As she doesnt have kids of her own i expect she justs loves kids ,if shes happy leave her to it

[Octavius]

Its not really for you to get involved. Its a family matter. How do her nephews parents feel about it? Does she have other nieces/nephews?

[redcrx]

why do you think this is wrong?
My sisters have pics of my son on their phones and in their flats, more than I have to be honest but then I have the real thing.
If she can afford to spend her money on him and wants to then why do you see it as a bad thing?

[redcrx]

if she has him on her only day off work is this perhaps a bit of jealousy that youre not seeing your mate as much as youd like?

[cascarelli]

That is sooooo sweet!

[4getmenot]

And whats wrong with that as redcrx sais I have pics of my nephew and also my friends children. I love my nephew to bits, pic in my bedroom, 3 in living room, drawings on fridge. I don�t spend that much on him as he is only little and doesn�t need a lot. But if she wants to then that is up to her. And I take days off work to have time with my little buddie and to help his mum out. At least his aunty cares for him. Why are you so annoyed with that?

[wigglebum]

I don't think its wrong just shows that family matters to her and wants to give this child all the love she can. Perhaps it is a jealousy thing? Have you got kids? My lo is adored by many of my friends and his great uncle always getting him bits and loves to spoil him. Just leave her to it xx

[Lezzel]

Im not annoyed at her its just that she doesnt do anything else apart from work and see him. Her sister treats her a bit like a doormat to be honest. She also has not many other friends and i do. I go out and have a bf and do other stuff - she doesnt. I ask her to come along and do stuff but there is always an excuse. If it wasnt for him god knows what she would do with herself. She is starting to panic that he starts school soon and wonders whats she is going to do. In my eyes thats a bit sad.

[Lezzel]

Oh and i forgot to say he is a little bit of brat!! Not my words but some of the mothers who have kids in his nursery!! His mum got a call from the nursery saying that he was hitting children and parents had been complaining about him. If he doesnt change he will have to move! Sometimes spoiling kids isnt such a good idea!!

[Octavius]

I agree Red. I have 9 nieces and nephews and spend a fortune on them at birthdays and Christmas, I would do anything for them whether my siblings needed it or not and I have pictures of all of them scattered in various places about my house. I have taken them on holidays and for weekends with my wife at my retreat and sailing on my boat. I had a special portrait photo done at my wedding so I could get them in all in one picture which I have displayed in my living room, and a copy of the picture was on my mobile but has been recently replaced by a photo of my 11 week old daughter. My nieces and nephews have all developed into well-mannered family appreciating people with respect and regard for all around them.

Of course I worry about them too, and got anxious when they had to go to school for the first time - in fact I went to an interview with a headteacher with two of them!

If that is me being sad, then I guess I must be. But really I am happy as are they.

[wigglebum]

To me she's an insecure person then and spending time with her nephew is her only way to deal with it is to spend time with someone who asks nothing of her but shows her so much affection. Try harder with her to get her out and tell her you're not having any excuses xx

[4getmenot]

Maybe she doesn�t want to be a gooseberry if you invite her out. Or maybe she just enjoys being with her nephew. How can you sit there and say in your eyes that is a bit sad. Maybe she doesn�t want loads of mates and a boyfriend. It may be the norm to you but some people aren�t like that. At end of day its really non of your business. She�s happy let her have that.

[Lezzel]

If she wants to be like that then yes thats her look out but what happens when he grows up and is at that age when hanging about with family isnt cool etc. What is she gonna do then?!? I think she should make a life for herself - and not try and pinch someone elses (her sister). Ive tried loads of times to get her to come out with other people and do stuff but right at the last minute there is always an excuse. I can only do so much.

[4getmenot]

Why does she need to go out. I go out all the time but most of my mates have kids and stay in, doesn�t make them boring, and I wouldnt call them sad at all, if they don�t want to go out they don�t have to. And I don�t think its strange that an aunty loves her nephew that much at all. Doesn�t make her insecure, she�s an individual and doesn�t need a boyfriend or to go out all the time for her security.

[4getmenot]

then dont do anymore if she doesnt want to. and I'm sure as she gets older and the children do then she wont mother them. And maybe she will have children of her own.

[Lezzel]

I totally agree about family being important but i feel she has to realise that he isnt her responsibility - she needs to do other stuff and not just stay around for him. She went on holiday with them once -and spent the whole time babysitting him while the parents went out and even at night. She told them to go while she stayed with him. That isnt a life - thats turning into a job. Id love her to meet someone and have a family or something not live her life around someone else's direct family.

[Octavius]

I think you are the one with the problem, as she seems relatively happy in her little world whilst you are the one fretting about everything and making yourself look like the social martyr trying to drag her away from something that is making her happy. What makes you think your life is the better way to be than hers? Each to their own, but I think you sound a little jealous.

[wigglebum]

I'm not saying she needs to go out. I'm saying she could be insecure because she doesn't want to do the same things as everyone else. Being insecure isn't a bad thing there are different aspects to it.

[wigglebum]

Just leave her to it Lezzel she seems content enough and you seem to be the one worrying if she's not why should you? xx