Texting Friends

[Roughquest]

I have been seeing my new fella now for almost a month, and its going great! We came home after a night out saturday and we stayed up to watch a dvd over a bottle of wine, and i had a few text messages arrive on my mobile, I quickly read them and answered them and all of a sudden my fella went all quiet on me, I sensed something was wrong, so I asked if all was ok, he just gave a quick 'hmmm', i asked again and he flew at me saying 'if you want to text I may as well go home now and leave you to it!' - i explained it was some drunk friends as it was late (12.15pm) and it was the norm for me over a weekend, but he didnt accept it at all, some of the texts were from men, granted but they are guys I have known for over a year, friends, we sorted it out, but was i wrong to reply to some texts while in his company ? I am slightly concerned about his strong reaction.

[dot.hawkes]

Oh that has happened to me lots of times!!!!!!!! and if you offer to show them the messages they say, 'No you're alriht it doesn't matter' like you are making them feel guilty! I have learnt not to get distracted with texts now as it does cause suspicions and doubts. But if he gets a text I demand to read it, which of course is how it should be.

[warpig3]

No RQ I don't think you are wrong but perhaps you could have said something like 'its so and so, they are p*ssed etc', he may have been thinking you were texting about him. Everyones understanding of what is correct with regard mobile phones is different, what seems ok to you may not be ok to him. I have a friend who receives text message when I am on the land line to her and she replys, this infuriates me as I can hear the interuption on the landline and I can hear the vagueness in her voice as she is not listening to me, so in part I can understand where he is coming from.

[tiny e.a]

Bit of a strong reaction but I wouldn't let it perturb you just yet, you were completely within your rights to answer any text messages you've recieved but I have also got annoyed with people in the past who I'm meant to be watching a film with and they can't keep their eyes off their phones, I never say anything though because I realise in doing so I become anal, really it's up to them what they do and I'm also quite militant when it comes to film watching! Perhaps your boyfriend just another of these film watching militants?!

[tiny e.a]

Agree with the annoying vagueness too Warpig, I'd rather people said, 'excuse me a second, I'm just texting,' than sat there going, 'yeeeeees, riiiight...'etc in their most vague voice, do they think we can't tell their paying absolutely no attention at all?!

[4getmenot]

After a certain time I put my phone on silent and very rarely look at it if I�m having night in with my bloke. I used to be a text-a-holic but unless it is an important question or an emergency I don�t answer especially if I know they are drunk and that it could go on forever. I wouldn�t mind if my bloke text anyone but if its a lot of texts then I think it could get a bit tedious.

[4getmenot]

theres a girl who orders games to play on her phone while we're having a girly night which I find very rude

[Octavius]

A bit of an over-reaction perhaps, but I am of the opinion that if you are in company that you should avoid making phone calls and texting messages. It�s courtesy really. It would be bad manners to pick up your phone and call someone whilst he is sitting there, you would wait until they had left � so why not do the same with texts?

To me its not about being jealous, just being at the wrong end of bad manners, but I wouldn�t fly off the handle � I would just call one of my mates and stay on the phone for ages and see how you liked it.

[Roughquest]

I did my best to explain/show him the messages, but as DOT has said he replied 'its none of my business' - i have on a few occasions caught him texting, but thought not to say a word as A: it didnt bother me - and - B: its too early on in the relationship to get suspicious lol - so I never question him, if he texting ladies then so be it, he does have female friends and I have already met 2 of them....in fact one of them we met up specially with - so there were three of us sat chatting one evening when we were supposed to be on a date....ho hum

[Champagne]

Oh... we all love a sulker don't we?!!

Next time he sulks or throws his toys out of the pram, let him go home! He'll soon realise he has to handle it like a grown up.

[Roughquest]

and incidentally, he made a phonecall to his ex wife while he was sat next to me - and a rather heated disucssion they were having too, I could here her voice! Once again, i chose not to say anything as its none of my busness.

[Octavius]

Ah, so he was probably peed off with that phone call rather than with you, but you just happened to be on the receiving end so to speak. Unfortunately you didn�t mention this in the first place.

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, this has happened to me a few times actually. Now i have learnt to just ignore my texts when i am in company with a lady (especially quality time at night).
I totallly understand where your boyfriend is coming from.
I had your attitude until she explained to me that it wasnt nice.
It might have been a norm for you at one time, but if your after a proper relationship with this guy then you need to respect his feelings...

[Roughquest]

Oh no, no, sorry I didnt explain very well, the call to his ex happened last night lol ! not at the same time as this texting issue.....and i felt a bit embarrassed...to be honest.

[Hellyon]

To be honest roughquest if I was seeing a new fella and he spent most of his time texting his friends I would be offended. I know that it was only a bit of fun but actually I would like to think that he was concentrating on being with me not 'chatting' to someone else. May be that's how this guy felt. I know no-one else particularly agree with me here but hey, I'm just an old fashioned girl!!

[Roughquest]

Yes Hellyon, I do understand what you say, but as its so early on in the relationship - I would not have dared react in this fashion - way too early to be getting a bit 'huffy' about things isnt it ? It definitely touched a raw nerve with him I think, but I will make sure it doesnt happen again, i would not want to hurt his feelings..

[joannie10]

I agree with you Hellyon. Maybe there was a bit of an over reaction from the new BF as no need to be huffy about it but it really would be a bit like sitting chatting on the phone to someone and leaving him sitting there. Even when I am with my friends and get text through I tend to say 'I just need to respond to so and so' - maybe just felt ignored and just wanted time with you. Did he show you courtesy when speaking with the ex wife ie did he say 'I really need to make/take this call?' If he did not then really has no right to be huffy with you.

[Hellyon]

I reckon he had plans for you roughquest!!! That's the usual reason men get in a huff when you're not paying them attention lol.

[Octavius]

Unless he thought that the men texting you late after a drunken night out might have been looking for some late night �arrangements� with you. Some people have this habit after a few beverages!

[4getmenot]

I suppose its a bit like my questions yesterday about the fridge magnet, in time I'm sure you wont text as much and will be used to his company. Its early days, far too early to make big changes just yet

[lucylocket69]

I think he was throwing a bit of a tantrum to be honest! Unless you're seriously busy (like when P picked up a call from his footy mate as soon as we hopped in bed- i was fuming lol) then i just think he'll have to get on with it, deal with it, or he'll lose out!