Grief

[tdvit]

does anyone have any advice on dealing with grief thanks

[Greedyfly]

Everyone has there own ways with dealing with grief - I suggest maybe seeing a counsellor or ringing someone and talking about your grief to start you off. good luck.

[kags]

Don't let anybody tell you how you should behave or how long you should grieve, Greedyfly is absolutely right, everybody is different and there is no yardstick to measure grief. There are counsellors, specialist organisations such as CRUSE, or Samaritans who you can ring, visit or email anonymously to give vent to your feelings. Guilt is commonly mixed with grief, and it can be difficult to talk through guilty feelings with family and friends, but talking in confidence to someone unconnected could help.

[andy hughes]

You don't specifiy the cause of your gried, so responses must therefore be general. If it is bereavement, you have to accept that Western attitudes to death are useless - six weeks and 'it's all forgotten'. Grief is a nebulous process - and you have to go with its ebbs and flows. Don't think of grief as a trrain on a track, moving forward on a daily basis, with a finite 'ending' in sight. Think of it as a ship on an ocean, some days you make good progress on a calm sea, some days you are tossed about in a Force Ten gale, with no control, and just have to sit it out. Try and find someone in whom you can confide you feelings. Cry when the mood takes you, it's good for you. Be angry, be sad, go with all your emotions, and don't try and bottle things up - the healing process will not be easy, but with these strategies, it will take its course more smoothly. There are no short cuts, but 'being Brisith' simply hurts you more. Feel your feelings, and eventually you will assimilate your experience into the fabric of your life. Let us know how you are coping.

[Nelli]

tdvit: I'm currently experiencing grief, I lost my mum about a month ago. Andy's right, some days I can't believe how strong I am, some days it's as if someone has pulled the carpet out from beneath my feet. I wouldn't like to guess how long it will last, but it slowly get's better with time that I have noticed even after this short amount of time, but on the other hand, I'm not going to get complacent about it! Never ever bottle it up, and be good to yourself, give yourself time and care ....hope that makes sense! :-)

[archhippy]

Hi tdvit grief is unique to everyone there is no one way to grieve. I can sympathise with you i have also lost my mum six and a half years ago it was suden and out of the blue I went numb i couldn't feel anything just numbness. Then i had to tell people and i just went to peaces at her funeral we were a wreck i was only twelve it was hard. But i am blessed with having a sister who is more of a mother to me and a wonderful dad he is amazing 50 going on five which is great sometimes but annoying . I still miss her and sometimes it still hits me that she is gone and it is like a renching at my heart. this experiance taught me that death comes to every one it is there circle coming to and end and another starting.I have worked for the last three years in a pub in that time two regulars have died a person who came every sunday for lunch has died and another died this saturday it has taught me to think of the good times we had their routines etc. Heres a good tip in order to remember them even better and to tell your kids about get a box and put into it things that you remeber her by even on bits of paper,photos get the whole family involved. I hope this is a help.once again grief is unique to every one but i can say this it gets better give it time the proverb'time is a good healer' is very true good luck and take it at your own time and pace if ever you get to depressed think of the good times.