my dilemma

[legend758duo]

well theres this guy at work who i think is a really nice guy to me.
question is why is he being so nice?
we`d joke away and have a laugh.he says im a good looking guy and has asked me if i wanna go for a beer sometime.
we were out for a curry last week and had a really good laugh.
we get on really well but i think theres more to it.
so is he just being a mate or do you think he might have feelings for me?

i may be blowing things outta proportion but when a guy is nice to you you automatically think he wantts to **** you dont you ?
well i know women think that .

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, not all guys are like that legend.
What sort of people have you been hanging round?

[Octavius]

Why is this a dilemma? Just tell him you won�t sleep with him until you have been dating for at least 3 months.

[ummmm]

Some people are just nice legend...

[nat_84]

Is he actually gay? or are you just pressuming he might be..?

[Black Noir]

Is this guy aware of your "persuasion"?

He might be new to the area and not have many mates down here and genuinely want to hang out with you. So what if he does have feelings for you doesnt mean you have to return them does it !

Stop being so paranoid and just enjoy his friendship, you clearly like his company.

ps Is his name Jeremy Bamber ? :)

[Cockney_si]

There is a similar question here http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Q uestion419516.html

maybe you two can compare notes ;o)

[legend758duo]

im not gay at all.
i was just wondering if he was gay.

or is it the case that guys can be nice to you without wanting to sleep with you.

also yuo can be frfriendly with aguy who works next to you without there being any need for sexual contact.

tho some folk just cant comprehend that eh :- )

[legend758duo]

ive seen similsr posts from women about men they work with.
who apparently are gagging for them.

whateverrrrrrrrrr

[cascarelli]

So, what you're saying is that you want to sleep with him?

That's ok, go for it.

[Octavius]

Well, after about 3 months and a few trips to the cinema.

Be adventurous, but be safe.

[legend758duo]

not at all.
as a woman you obviously dont get the point im trying to make .

women are so sleazey its always about sex.


i think this post might just have gone over your head lol

[legend758duo]

octavius you seem to be a bit slow on the uptake too



unusual for yourself..

maybe im being too subtle

[Octavius]

Subtle is as subtle does.
It takes a far stretch of imagination to consider that your �dilemma� has any remote resemblance to a lady what lunches with a fella, as your question primarily relates to the potential sexuality of a colleague. I don�t recall many other questions on this issue so you seem to have lost yourself.

Why not check out his record collection? If he has any Streisand or Judy Garland collections you could always borrow them, or lend him some of yours.

[andy-hughes]

I can honestly say I have never ever thought that any guy who was nice to me was loking for a sexual relationship!

I don;pt really understand why you would think this way.

Making a comparison between men who are nice to mena dn men who are nice to women is utterly meaningless - the chances of a man looking for a relationship with a woman is obviously far higher than in the case of a man looking for a relationship with a man - that's simply the law of averages.

It's like this - if your friend is gay, it will be pretty obvious to him by now that you are not - most gay people are highly intuitive and sensitive (they have ot be living in a hostile heterosexual world) and at least some of the testosterone you scatter around this thread will have reached him by now.

So - either he is gay, and simply likes you as a friend - remember not every gay man finds you irresitable simply because you are a nice looking man - or he is straight, and you are misreading the signals.

Why not see how things go. If he minterperetes your potential as a partner, you can politely and calmy advise him or your orinetation, and continue your friendship.

Don't let suspicion get in the way of a friendship - and don't let unpleasant remarks you leave on here, where you diss an undeserving AB member, and her entire gender, prevent you from receiving some advice from people who are simply trying to help you.

Good luck.

[Pippa68]

I agree with Octavius.

To be honest I think a guy who tells another guy he is good looking is probably gay. From what I have heard from straight guys, complimenting another blokes looks isn't what a straight guy does!

If so, let him down gently. Just tell him you are taking a woman out for dinner at the weekend ~ or just come right out with it and tell him you are straight, it's up to you.

[cazzz1975]

lol legend did you want rubyrose's opinion?

[legend758duo]

cazzzz i dont know what you mean.

do you think ruby would have an opinion?

has she any experience in these kind of matters??

[Surreylass]

just talk about women to him alot. guys talk about girls an so he wont think your making a point. you dont need to clarify your sexuality to him but just make subtle comments about girlfriends etc

if he is gay then you can still be his mate and he will know your straight

dont imply he is gay for christs sake

[nannon]

well if you are not gay then he won't be getting any signals from you so even if he is i guess he wouldmt try anything - i think its harder for men to make male friends - if he ever brought it up that he was gay you just need to say you're not and carry on as ,ates - am sure after a few more conversation you will discover if he is or isnt - like another post said try to bring up a conversation about women and see his response. he might just be looking for a mate