Since theres been afew Qs on sex...

[Silversky]

I was just wondering, me and my boyfriend (16 and 21) have been together for about 6 months. Both virgins. And we'd really like to have sex, but we can't because I won't "allow access" (as someone earlier put it)
Is there something wrong with this? Or is it normal?
Thanks
(p.s only sensible answers please =])

[dot.hawkes]

I say good on you and well done for being responsible. One of my staff is only 17 and her bloke is 19 and they are the nicest of people, they respect one another and are the kind of kids that you just want to be happy and not get drawn into the whole stress of life, keep true to each other and remember that life goes on after 21.

[jno]

you mean you want to but your body is freezing up? If so, relaxation, foreplay, even a nice Merlot may help.

[bobtheturkey]

i put my pin number in 3 times wrongly and i was denied access at the cash machine outside the co op

[rocklolo]

are you truly ready?
The feelings that you are experiencing are normal and i applauds the both of you for been sensible.
Why dont you go and visits your family planning clinic for advise you know or do you have a close relative that you trust and feels that you can talk too?
DO not rush puppet because when the time will feel right then it will be special so do not rush or you both could be desapointed eh!
Probably you should start thinking protection before thinking sex as well.
Good luck sweetheart xx

[Silversky]

Well dot. sex isn't the Be all and end all at the end of the day is it?
And we're much more interested in being in a happy and trusting relatonship. And we feel trusting and happy enough to take it to the next level.

And jno, thats basically it, and the only thing I have tried on there is the wine. I may consider it...
Thanks for your kind answers =]

[Silversky]

Bobtheturkey- Haha... I know the feeling!

And rocklolo- Thanks for your answer, I know what you mean about the rushing, and really if I didnt feel it was right, I wouldn't budge! But I do in my mind feel as if I am ready, although it does cross my mind that maybe its something deeper and more phsycological.
And both me and my boyfriend have discussed protection, and I most likely will be going on the pill soon.

[rocklolo]

well for the time being keep it truly special and exciting.
You will realise later on in life like me now 45 that love matter the most and the special bond that you have with a person. Respect is a priority for the both of you and if you feels a bit pressured by your boyfriend then talk .because if the respect is not there you will be deeply sorry xxxx

[bednobs]

gogle vaginismus - it might be that and there are some good tips

[whiffey]

The loveliest thread today. Stay as you are, please. You are unusually nice and decent and there should be more like you.

[B00]

I don't understand why people are offering solutions here? The girl's 16, obviously not ready for all the malarky that goes with sex. Nothing wrong in waiting at all Silversky, make sure when you do it's because YOU want to.

[jno]

yes, bear in mind that your body may know more than you do, so to speak. It may be that it's providing you with a sort of 'excuse' for not having sex because deep down you're not quite sure you're ready. Is it possible that a bf 5 years older than you is leaning on you a bit? You'd need to examine your own true feelings about this; but if you're not sure, feel free to wait until you are.

[Silversky]

Thank you rocklolo for your kind words again, respect will always be a major thing for me. And I wouldn't dream of staying in a relationship where I felt unhappy and pressured, my boyfriend is really lovely and has never ever pressured me to do anything, let alone anything of a sexual nature.

Thanks bednobs, I have researched it before, actually not to do with this, but I did wonder if it could be that, as I do have a problem with my self image, and I wondered if it could be a phsycological problem.

Thank you Whiffey =] That is so nice of you to say, I always try and be pleasant and polite, and I feel that it is a shame that alot of 'younger' people of today have forgotten there manners and respect for their elders and peers.

And Thanks BOO for your concern, I am a very mature 16 year old, and I generally know whats right and wrong, and I have a very strong arguement and opinion on most things.
There is no need to worry, I would not do anything I didn't want to do, just because 'everyone else is doing it' or whatever you may believe.

thanks again

[B00]

You sound a lovely girl silversky, and one with her head firmly on your shoulders, good for you!

:-)

[Silversky]

Hi again jno - Like I said in my recent reply to rocklolo, my boyfriend has never pressured me in any way. He knows that if I don't want to do something, I won't change my mind (the stubborn teenager that I am!)
And as for the 'excuse' idea this is another thought that I have been pondering. It is one of the only reasons I can think of. Although, I'm not quite sure of what's causing it.

[Silversky]

Thanks BOO. Once again very kind words =]
I respect everyones opinion on this topic, as I know not everyone will have the same view point as me, and just because you were not sure, doesn't mean, like some people on here, that I should go 'off on one' and say 'you are wrong'