People jumping to conclusions

[sexiruskiee]

I loved my brother very very much so when he died 4 days ago I was devastated.The funeral is tomorrow and there is a lot of people going. I have decided not to go as I know I will not be able to take the emotion of the day and will be too emotional.It is not that I didn't love him and can't be bothered. I will remember him in my own special way tomorrow.
My parents however are very angry and say I am selfish.Why do people always jump to conclusions? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

[4getmenot]

Ruskie I hope for your sake this is a serious question as you've said before that 3 of your brothers have already died. If it is serious then you can remember him in your own special way but you can also go your parents are grieving too and its more trouble than its worth not going. Would it really hurt?

[sexiruskiee]

Yes that's why I don't want to go I'm only 18 and I've already seen 3 brothers die all of them under 20. I'm NOT seeing another one and it is not necessary for me to go. I'd only be an emotional wreck and I don't get on with my Mum and Dad because they hate me and think I'm evil

[Surreylass]

Firstly i am very very sorry for your loss and can see that you are upset by the news, rightly so.

I do not agree with your decision not to go and think you will deeply regret it in the future. i have lost people and did not go to the funeral and i find i grieve in a different way, in a more non-closure way. Most importantly, is that your parents need you to be there to also offer support to them.

Everyone will be emotional and you will be able to handle the day. Try not to go in with the attitude of 'i cannot handle it' as you will be emotional from the outset. Try and view it as a day of support to your parents.

Please do go

[redcrx]

like 4get says, i really hope this isnt another lie.

do you think that your parents wont be hurting just as much if not more than you, they have lost many children.

Its one day, please try and go and be a support to each other.

I wouldnt suggest taking young children though so perhaps it would be best if you found a babysitter for any children you have

[Surreylass]

why do you parents think your evil ?

[jackthehat]

My heart goes out to you...........
All I would say is to try and think how you will feel in a couple of months time if you don't go. If you are secure in the knowledge that you will not regret your decision not to attend, then do what your heart tells you.
I understand that the entire occasion will be overwhelming and I, too, find times like that difficult to deal with. I tried to find a time to go somewhere quiet, away from the distress and tears of other, and think calmly about the situation.......If I went what was the worst thing that could happen ? If you name your ghost it's no longer as frightening.......
If I didn't go what would the fall-out from that decision be ? Which would be the worst to endure ?

You don't know me but please believe that I am sending you my very best thoughts and wishes for you to find comfort and peace at this awful time.........

[4getmenot]

I did only think you had 3 brothers. can I ask how did he die, did you know he was going to?

[xhxmxsx]

im sorry for your loss and i know the funeral will be a terrible thing to go through but you need to go, my best friend died in a car crash not so long ago and i was distraut and didnt want to go to the funeral but i was told i'd regret it if i didnt, i went and yes i was an emotional wreck but i dont regret going i got to say goodbye and the funeral is a celebration of their life

go to celebrate your brother's life who cares if you cry and are a mess he was your brother ffs it's expected

[nannon]

i think you would regret it in the future if you didnt go - everyone will be emotional - thats understandable - no one will think any less of you if you are 'a wreck'

[B00]

Have you thought that maybe it's important for your parents for you to be there? By showing support for them? No? I didn't think you had.............

[sexiruskiee]

I don't have any children. My parents disagree with my lifestyle. I am a very rebellious teenager but have never done anything evil and think they should just lay off a bit. I love my brother but don't feel I need to go to the funeral and I'm sure my brother would understand if he were here now. I think my parents are the selfish ones for jumping to conclusions

[sexiruskiee]

Also I don't want to make things even more diffecult between me and my parents and I know if I don't go it will cause even more friction then there already is.At the same time I take prode in my image of being a "twisted little bitch" and don't want to come across all soft and kind. I know that's immature but It's the way I am

[redcrx]

will your husband be with you? surely he can support you for the funeral. You dont need to stay for a wake but at least be there to say goodbye to your brother and pay your respects

[sexiruskiee]

My brother was psychophrenic and commited suicide. Unfortunately it runs in my family and my sister and I are the only ones who didn't get it.

[redcrx]

"I take prode in my image of being a "twisted little bitch" and don't want to come across all soft and kind. I know that's immature but It's the way I am"

hmm, and there was me starting to believe that perhaps this couldve been a genuine post from you for a change

[sexiruskiee]

I'm not married I'm lesbian and have been with my 34 year old girlfriend since I was 16-hence the reason for the friction

[Psychick]

Yup.....it was definately too goo too be true that she was actually being genuine for once...are you even really a she?

[sexiruskiee]

It is genuine. I swear it really is.I amy have said that wrong but maybe what I meant to say was I have a certain image which in reality is not really true but I play up to it and want everyone to believe I am like that. It is almost like a comfort blanket and if I portray a sensitive side I'm worried I will lose the "mask" that I wear.

[Scarlett]

I know just how you feel- I absolutely hate funerals and would far rather stay at home thinking about my loved ones in my own way and space. However, everyone else feels the same way you do too. Nobody wants to go. They are not enjoyable. But they ARE a way of showing respect and saying goodbye to someone. If you cry all the way through- who cares?! It is a funeral! You won't be alone! BUt just by being there you will have done your bit, made peace, said goodbye and also supported others who have to go through it as well.
It is just one day. A few hours. Go to the funeral, don't worry about being emotional. Say goodbye to your brother with your family, and try and forget about any issues between you and your parents just for the day. x

[Psychick]

Youre 18 (well, if that part is true) you are classed as an adult now......isnt it time you started to grow up.......what is so wrong with being yourself instead of hiding behind a mask and pretending to be something or someone youre not?