g/f up the duffers

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

hi my g/f is up the plum and i am really not very happy about it, my parents and her parents are over the moon but i cannot feel pleased, i feel pretty trapped and am doubting wather i will saty with her. i dont think i will as i am not ready to be a dad. what can i do, do i have any rights as a dad to make her have an abortion?

[laurence2]

One word.


Condom.

If you wasen't ready to be a dad wear a ''hat''


Do you have any rights to ''make her have an abortion''?

Read that again to yourself slowly.

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

how do you know we didnt use protcection? i wore a jonny and she was on the pill but these things DO happen and this has happened. so think before you judge "ok"?

[Champagne]

Now that she's pregnant it's her call as to whether or not you are going to be a father. Give it a day or so and if you still feel the same then sit her down and convey your issues.

[Doc Spock]

As my grandad use to say " a standing pr1ck has no conscience."

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

i have pretended to behappy and that everything is good as we always said that "one day" we woul maybe have kids but not now. i am going to hav to finish with her, i am so frekaed out by all of this and the pretending to be happy about it ismaking it seem even worse and freaky

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

why are you all assuming that this is all down to me, it takes two to tango, we were both protected and took measures to prevent this happening. now it has happened and it was unplanned. i dont want a baby yet

[laurence2]

Oh really?


i should think before i judge, should'nt you of thought before you dipped, don't tell me, you and your GF were just damm unlucky, ie the pill never worked, the durex split etc etc etc

Somehow i think your talking bull

Go away

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

you are an ignorant rude man. these things DO happen and how the hell do i know, maybe it did split, maybe she missed a day i dont know, but i do know that she is preggers and i am not ready for this.

[Doc Spock]

Might have been safer if your username was "reargunner".

[laurence2]

And what gives you the right to leave her in the mire by leaving her, if it was an accident you should be giving her your full support, not running off like a coward


Grow up

[Champagne]

roflmao @ doc!!!!

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

can i ask why you are all so negative towards me? i am very confused at the moment

[Doc Spock]

You are "Not ready", how the hell do you thing the lady feels. You sound tremendously supportive, not.

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

i am not taht sort of person i really am not that is why i have preteded to be happy and that everything was good, i cant do it anymore, i cant keep up the act

[whiffey]

If you'd only had the opportunity to get stranded on a remote Pacific island this would never have happened.

No, you can't make her have an abortion.

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

she WANTS this baby, she is happy about it. it is not my fault that I am not hapy about it. what am i supposed to do, pretend all is well and keep on pretending even after kid is born i will end up resenting both g/f and child

[MaDmAnGuNnEr]

would it be wrong to suggest abortion?

[nutgoneflake]

Have you stopped to think whether your girlfriend is ready to be a mum? You say you're not ready to be a dad so you probably won't stay - what about her? Providing you're telling the truth about your double failure on the protection front, (which I'm doubtful about, sorry) it sounds like you were both being careful which means she wasn't planning on getting pregnant either. If you weren't actually being careful, then be a man about taking your share of the responsibility.

Either way, why on earth are you talking on here when you should be talking to her?

[Psychick]

Instead of pretending to be happy and acting like all is ok, how about being honest with everyone including yourself. You need to tell your girlfriend exactly how you feel instead of leading into a false security that everything is ok and you will be there for her. Tell her your feelings then let her have some time to think of how she feels about both the pregnancy and what you have said. As for thinking you can make her have an abortion........that is unbelievably selfish and childish of you! It may two to tango but if you both want different things right now...there is no reason why she cannot raise this baby without you. I actually think that would be for the best anyway as you clearly do not love this girl. If you did, you wouldnt be trying to run away without talking it all through with her first.

[tigwig]

I am trying to see your side of it which is difficult with the comments you have already made but the way I see it is,that as a couple when you decide to sleep together whether or not you used contraception, you both have a moral responsibility if that contraception fails. You may not be pleased about the pregnancy but it is your baby whether you like it or not. I think you would be very heartless to immediately finish with your girlfriend instead you needto talk and tell her exactly how you feel and work out the best way tp proceed. If you make it clear to your g/f you do not want the baby then you are still going to have financial responsibility and owe it to your child to be a good father in his/her life. think carefully about this, in time you may regret your decision and your child could be very distressed in the future when he/she finds out that daddy didn't want me