I can't understand...

[jackienov74]

Why does a guy end up a relationship that has just started when everything was going just fine and then cries about it?

[~Wingnut~]

Hi jackie :o)

Maybe he felt things were going too quickly and he got scared and called the relationship off, but now has mixed feelings about whether he did the right thing or not.

Sorry if your talking about your own relationship here, you must be feeling very frustrated and hurt.

[jackienov74]

And what should I do now? Give him space? Don't go anywhere near him? Not contact him??

[netibiza]

Move on with your life. This sounds very like Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson, and she found someone else.

[Petal~flower]

All 3 jackie.

He may grow up in the meantime

[Louisa 69]

Try giving him some space, if it was me i wouldn't contact him he knows how to get in touch with you. Arrange some nights out with your frinds show him that you can get on with your life. Hope it works out for you

[~Wingnut~]

Well you can't force him to go out with you so I guess the ball is in his court but do you really want to wait around for him to make up his mind? Not very fair on you and your feelings.

You should carry on with your life and have fun, I wonder if he soon decides when he sees you out and about not pineing for him at home.

[laurence2]

Are we talking that he ended it just out of the blue? ie no reason given, no indication of anyone else etc etc.

It sounds like cold feet.

Ps, if you don't mind me asking you, how long was the relationship, and did you sleep with him

[jackienov74]

Well... the relationship had not been going on for very long...so I know it's not the end of the world. It's just that everything was well perfect. He even said it when dumping me!!! I just can't understand it. I just think it was unfair of him dumping me and then calling in tears but still insisting this is the right thing to do for my own good. Anyways...thanks to all for the replies.

[Petal~flower]

Maybe he was married already?

[jackienov74]

No. Never been married. No kids. But anyways. I guess it's useless wasting more time thinking about him. And they say women are complicated!!!!!

[Petal~flower]

how old was he then jackie?

[jackienov74]

he's 31 so not really a teenager!!! Oh I don't know. Am just feeling so damn disappointed. There was nothing wrong between us. We had fun. No arguments just yet. And he goes and ends it just like that because 'things are going to well' and 'i'll hurt you in the future and I don't want that'. And then he cries. It's just mad. I know I should just forget about it. It's just that usually I know what I did wrong, this time I don't and knowing (or so he says) he is hurting too it's just too confusing.

[Petal~flower]

does sound a bit odd. But jackie, I don't understand men either!

[Louisa 69]

Sounds like he's got a fear of commitment. I know it must be cutting you up inside, i had an ex exactly like that, it's not a nice feeling. Treat yourself to a new hairdo, a new outfit and show him what he's missing.
But it really does sound as if your better off without him, he'll just mess up your head.

[kp nonuts]

Hi jackie he does sound a bit wierd is he a mummys boy and reading between the lines what you said that he said when dumping you that everything was perfect, all I can say about that is some people do not like that, they have so little self exteem (scuse spelling but you know what I mean) that they think bad things should happen to them all the time and they do not like it if something good happens to them and are afraid of it as it just does not fit into there lives.

Personnaly I think you have had a lucky escape as if the relationship went further then he would eventually turned into the green eyed monster and been jealous and insecure of every move you make. I could go on and on about this but I will save you the boredem of it.

So as louisa said get your head up high a new outfit etc (but not for him,for you) and get out there and knock em dead babe.

Ps If you want further counselling I charge �50 an hour and you can e mail me on [email protected]

Seriously though good luck jackie. and dont be a plonker and chase after him as you deserve better.

[nutgoneflake]

I agree with the others, jackie, but can I add one thing? At 31, if he's this immature it wouldn't seem to be a relationship that would come to much in the long term anyway. I hope that doesn't sound too harsh. He's old enough by now not to cry on the phone like a teenager, surely!?

(What an old cow I'm turning into...!)

[jackienov74]

He thinks that all relationships are meant to end in a bad way. Oh well. Sometimes I hate technology!! hehe...was so much easier when mobiles where not around!! But no...I have no intention of contacting him or going anywhere near him. He made up his mind and whatever I say or do won't change a thing. I just wish it had ended for a valid reason. Would have been happier with 'I met someone else'! But guess it's the story of my life. Should toughen up I guess...But what's so wrong about treating guys the way I want to be treated?????

[nutgoneflake]

Just put this one down to experience and go out and find yourself a MANLY man!! I had an ex cry on the phone to me once - he was so drunk I couldn't understand a word he was saying, and the more he cried, the more I thought "I want nothing more to do with this wimp."

(I'm heartless, as well as an old cow!)

[jackienov74]

:-) not heartless...Oh I know myself, I'll get over this one in no time. Just need a couple of days on my own to get myself together again. Always been like this but then I get back on my track...it's just that it gets harder and harder. Have this funny feeling that am being dumped simply for being nice to them. For showing respect.