teenagers & their sex lives

[slinkycat]

if your teenage son or daughter were in a steady relationship, would you let them share a bedroom in your house? If they were over 16, and you knew they were sexually active anyway, is it better to accept that and provide a safe place (rather than them bonking behind the bike sheds or wherever) as long as they are discreet? Or would that freak you out? I know how I feel about this,just wanted to hear some other opinions

[confused79]

i can answer on a personal note on this one.
Firstly i am 28 but when i was only 13 my mum used to let my boyfriend of 16 sleep over and to me i thint it was WRONG, you may find it stupid as it was me that was allowed this privledge, but looking back my mum was nieve. She didnt think i would be doing anything like having sex at that age although i was with a 16 year old,

I lost my virginity at a very young age of 12!! im not proud at all of it, but one thing i will say is it was with the same person and only person and we ended up marrying and having 3 children - but thats another story.

I feel i had my childhood taken away too early and i now have a son of nearly 12 and would NEVER let a girl sleep over.
I have a 17 year old brother and my mum also let his girlfriend sleep over from the age of about 15! and i totally disagreed with it, i know people say its better than letting them do it behind bike sheds etc., but i thought it so wrong that my mum treat my brother as a grown up and to me thats what she was doing.

I try and think about what i will do when my son reaches 16 but at the moment i dont think i will let any girlfriend sleep over, altough i will speak to my son openly about sex etc., i dont want him to make mistakes i did.

[4getmenot]

thats good that you stayed with same person, but can I ask do you think at the age of 12 you knew why or what you were doing?

[confused79]

actually my brother was just turned 14 when his girlfriend slept over.

[confused79]

yes i knew what i was doing, i didnt have a good childhood shall we say so i knew quite alot about sex. my boyfriend who ended up being my husband was 15 at the time and we both lost my virginity.

[confused79]

that didnt make sense i mean we both lost OUR virginity!!sorry

[confused79]

Totally misread your post, you said if they were over 16 thinks me got bit carried away, although it still pees me off that my mum let me and my brother at such a young age

[sleepyj]

i would let my sons have gf in the bed rooms in the day ..but no way are they staying the night .......when they are older ..im the one that washes the bedding lol

[laurence2]

Confused.

Its nice to see that some one is quite open and honest about themselves, tho i'm not going to lecture about under age sex etc.

You knew what you had done, you are now addressing the balance from what i am reading, the past is the past, look forward to the future.

And its nice to see that you are both still together, i'm sure your be fine when your children reach 16

[laurence2]

sleepy.

Whats the difference between the day and night?


If they want privacy during the day, how would you know that they are not upto anything

[confused79]

No we are not togther now, been seperated 2 years nearly divorced but almost made 15 years

[4getmenot]

but its good that you can now say that you dont think you did the right thing. But I;m sure you wouldnt change it

[LoftyLottie]

Would be interesting to see how many teenagers would actually be comfortable with the thought of sleeping with their partner in their parents' house. I know I wouldn't have been, regardless of whether my parents had approved or not!

[slinkycat]

Thanks for all your replies, just sorry I wasn't here to respond earlier, serves me right for posting so late (or early!)
Good point Ethel, hadn't thought of that one, suppose I'm lucky in that my daughter and son have been in steady relationships for 5 and 3 years respectively, with their first proper boyfriend / girlfriend (aaah!)
Confused, agree that your situation was totally wrong, glad it had a happy ending tho
Anyway,you've all mostly confirmed I was right to go with my instincts, yes it feels awkward to start with, but thats better than wondering where they're up to it!

[hau kola]

I wouldnt until my daughter was over 18 and as long as it was a steady relationship.

[sophie_1003]

always makes me laugh when people say they give their children and their boy/girlfriends privacy in the day but wouldn't let them stop the night! People can and do have sex during daylight hours so it really makes no difference!