bowling club dinner

[bobtheturkey]

as you might know its my bowling club dinner on friday night and i am quite nervous as this will be the first time i have gone out to anything bar bowls matches and bingo in quite some time, i am accompanying a delightful lady called myrtle shufflebottom and i was wondering do you have any dinner tips as regards etiquette etc? myrtle is quite a large lady in the region of 34 stone i believe so should i make allowances for her? also i now drive a citroen 2cv having sold my cortina so will escorting in this small vehicle be a problem? do i say anything if she tears into the 5th whole chicken on the night and do i invite her in for coffee and pray she doesnt want to get frisky? will my cardigan be too warm and will the sweat stains on my brown shirt be noticable if i remove it?
hope you can reassure me

regards bob

[Beads]

bobby baby, you know you'll own that room. You have no worries. The women will fawn and the men will be jealous. Just go with it man, go with it.

[helliebobs]

She sounds a bit of a biffa, bob, can you not find anyone a bit foxier? Mind you, it's a bit late to be finding another date at such short notice so you'll have to make do.
Whatever you do, don't comment on how much she eats, a lady doesn't want to feel she has to eat salad when she dines out, and noooooooooooo don't invite her in afterwards, she'll think you're easy and she will take advantage - not of you, of the contents of your fridge.

[cazzz1975]

invite brenda along as well for a jeremy kyle style evening

if that dont fill yer pants nothing will

[unrulyjulie]

bob, too many lurve questions for me to anwer cause my brain hurts tonight but i'd say, go for it!

[carrust]

I've noticed recently that the dart player John Boy Walton has split up from his missus. I knew you had a soft spot for this strumpet...is it her you're taking out?

[helliebobs]

Is that my fault jules? :)
bob, I forgot to say, don't worry about the sweat stains, she'll be too busy worrying about the fact she didn't shave her legs to notice them :)

[dot.hawkes]

So what MPG do you get out of the 2cv then? it must be better than the cortina.

[neo.]

I see the Power got knocked out by an unknown

[cazzz1975]

Im glad you dont own a fiat 126

although i used to quite like them myself
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/ 8/84/Fiat_126p.jpg

[sandrajo]

honestly you kill me LMFAO

just be yourself and have no allowances, the evening will go with the flow.... call a taxi for both of you to get there and hopefully she'll decline the coffee and suggest a second date where you can get used to the idea of her being frisky lol.

[bobtheturkey]

i put the car on her back, yes neo the power is struggling we now have barney v van der voort should be a quick fire match

[carrust]

is darts like tennis.....bent?

[Katie~77]

Awwwww I love Citroen 2CVs. What colour is it Bob???x

[bobtheturkey]

cerese katie how are you, sage advice sandra et al

[bobtheturkey]

declined to mention john boy walton one of my sporting heroes i can only dream of having his looks

[helliebobs]

Jesus christ that's twice now I've been referred to as 'et al'!!!!
I don't know why I bother! Last time I give you advice bob!

[Katie~77]

Oh wow Bob!!!! I want your car. Want to swap???? I'm very well thank you, you?x

[unrulyjulie]

never never never would you make my brain hurt hellibobs!

[bobtheturkey]

et al was the Bordeaux under 25 bowling champion he is coming too that's what i meant helliebobs

[helliebobs]

at least someone appreciates me julie, I give the behemoth boy bob some great advice and I don't even get an individual 'thank you'. I'm not a happy bunny.