Ungrateful?

[toby99]

I am new to AB and am amazed at how many people write asking for help and advice, but never bother to respond further to any questions you may ask them or indeed thank you all for your often valuable and well thought out responses - Is this the norm- it appears very ungrateful?

[weeal]

This question was asked about 2 weeks ago, yes it can be annoying but thats life, some do thank and some dont, just like the real world.
If you help ONLY to expect a thanks then theres no point in being helpful.

[VillageVicar]

Welcome Toby: We're glad you're here. It's an interesting point you raise. I suppose it's a sign of busy lives. But I've never been bothered about it myself. Some of the threads take on interesting personalities and can last long after the initial question has been presented. That too I find delightfully interesting.

I don't think it's that someone is being rude. I often imagine after reading some of the replies, they simply don't quite know what to say!

I wish you well

Fr Bill

[toby99]

No I don't suppose they are being rude and when I start asking questions myself I won't be bothered either, but it just seems odd when reading other threads that sometimes there is no further response from the author ,
even when people ask them direct questions.

I too don't believe you should not help just for thanks, but from what I have read, you can get quite concerned about some people and it would be nice to know if yours and other replies were of any help to them.

I worried a lot about one lady who seemed very upset. she only left one posting and although everyone begged her to answer them she did not.

[weeal]

yep, i think i know the question you mean!

i got a post banned recently tho for enquiring after another's wellbeing, it doesnt work on here, too many folk interfere in genuine nice postings saying this isnt the place for it

[toby99]

I must say though....... this is a great site and I look forward to entering some great debates -thanks for making me welcome!!

[weeal]

yeah its not a bad site, its addictive tho

[VillageVicar]

Toby: You've raised another interesting point. In fact, it may be part of the overall answer. I must admit, there are times when I am unintentionally guilty of this: However, I have a somewhat feeble excuse.

I typically never subscribe to AB threads. I simply 'catch' them as they move through the 'recent posts' panel. There are questions, comments and occasionally challenges that people post that I simply never see. I've discovered this by going to 'my profile' and clicking on 'posts to which I�ve replied.' (or something like that). It is there I discover other member�s subsequent comments. I suppose I should be more responsible and subscribe to everything I've answered, but I generally feel I have little more to contribute than what I already have. There are others, with far more diverse talents and experiences than my own, and it's interesting to see what they have to say.

Some of the contributions give fascinating glimpses on the �human condition.� In some posts, you can see people smile. In others, you can feel the warmth and sincere effort they make to contribute. Then there are some that seem to completely ignore the question and either attack or denigrate the writer. This surprises me, but it occasionally adds to the flavour of the site.

Continued

[VillageVicar]

Part 2

And there are those who seem to hang on to a contributor�s comment, analysing it, chewing on it like a piece of gristle, then with the ferocity of a star prosecutor, dissect each and every word, checking for spelling, continuity, balance, along with a pedantic � almost obsessive � search for detail, that ends up destroying the patina of the thread. This too I find fascinating.

When I first joined AB, as with so many others, I was simply looking for a simple answer to a question. But as I delved deeper into the site, I found it to be a fascinating window on human nature. Certainly, AB is unlike anything I�ve ever seen. I�ve never before participated in any forums, or �chat� areas, or anything similar. But with AB, the ability to impart or share appeals to my own composite. I suspect (hope) this is the same for others.

I wish you well

Fr Bill

[toby99]

Thanks VillageVicar - I can understand the process now - I don't think I actually realised the magnitude of this site!

[weeal]

vicar, youre posts are soooooo long i speed read em

[VillageVicar]

Weal: Please accept my apologies. I'm still trying to find the right balance here and whether or not I 'belong. I try to be concise in my writings. Yet, they can appear verbose...so I think I need to shorten things a bit...and when I do, I find that I become challenged because I've failed to provide the most pedantic of peripheral details.. So it's all a matter of balance. Luckily for all, my sermons are never 'that' long... :-)

Again, apologies.

Fr Bill

[toby99]

Don't apologise VillageVicar - I enjoy your threads; they have depth. You certainly have a place here; I have read many you have written and you always have a good story to tell.... I don't know if you have ever, but if not, you should consider writing a book.

As we discussed earlier AB is is a personal thing and I believe we should put in to it and get out of it exactly what we want.

I for one, find it difficult to just answer a thread, move on to the next and never revisit them, as I like to challenge my own mind and challenge what I believe in. Already I have changed a fairly strong view point on a topic after reading and taking part in debate.

[VillageVicar]

Toby: thank you for your kind words. Just as with so many people, I have a half-dozen books in my mind..but never the time. I do write articles for publication from time to time, under a nome de plume and I have a number of blogs relating to my mission in Eastern Europe, as well as an on-line abridged diary of notes. My daughter recently began placing all of the funeral homilies I've written over the years, into a large ring binder. I think that's sweet of her. She clearly sees something in them that I quite haven't seen. And my poor children - I've written to them since their birth (actually, even before!). I continue to do so to this day...poor things!

http://bigworldsmallboat.blogspot.com/search?q =the+book+in+the+attic

Thank you again for your kind comments

Fr Bill

[Mattk]

I was the one who posted this subject a couple of weeks back.I feel that if youve taken the time to ask the question in the first place and people have taken the time to answer, it is simple good manners to thank them or simply rate their answers to show you have returned and seen the responses.
i mean why ask if you are not going to come back and view?!

[weeal]

I know and i agree but life isnt like that all the time

[toby99]

I agree Mattk - I am struggling to get what this site is about! If, like you said, you ask a question surely it is only the normal process, let alone manners, to respond!

[velvet lady]

its about keeping it interesting toby. ask a question then sit back and watch the b******itching and backstabbing and all the tw*******atty comments!! its great fun, i love it

welcome to you toby , have fun

[ruby27]

Humans. You just can trust them to do it right

toby99. It is a bit odd, you think did they really want to know in the first place.? But, if they don't come back and say thank you, it is their loss.
Sometimes researching the answer I have found out things I never knew before. Certainly going on to news has made me be a little more critical in my thinking and my responses.

[toby99]

Thank you for your welcome Velvet lady I can see the attraction and I have been involved in some great debates, but I stick to what I have said - some threads do require a response or a thank you. Is is right to post a question and then ignore all answers and any further questions that may be asked of you?