Feeling really fed up

[Petal~flower]

Well, I went for my job assessment today and got the job. But the hours they have given me (its temp Christmas cover) are going to be so difficult for me to fit in around my children. ( I am a divorced mum of 4)

I want to take the job, as it could lead on to permanent. But the worry of sorting everything out, is stressing me. I am so tired of sorting out everything, kids, home etc. Been doing it on my own for 9 years.

Sorry, just a bit down

[tillyfloss]

aw petal chin up - can't say what i think you should do about the job as only you know your circumstances - but can say one thing - if you have been sorting stuff for 9 years you know you are a genuinely capable person who is strong and can cope and handle situations. I know it's hard when you feel like you are doing it all but we all have days like that and by the sounds of it you are a fab mum who will find a way to make whatever decision you make work for you and the kids.... plus always remember that hard times don't look half as bad when you are through the other side... your kids should be proud to have such a hardworking mum who does do it all for them... keep ya chin up and good luck either way :-)

[dot.hawkes]

retail hours are long at Christmas, i know, I have been doing them for 30 years, it would be wrong to let them down, and i assume they have stressed the importance of your flexibility, alot of time, planning and expense goes into this Christmas recruiting programme, last year in debs they took on a number of temps and by early December many had backed out because they couldn't;t cope with the hours. if YOU want it to lead to permanent work you need to demonstrate your commitment to fitting your life around the job, but if you are worried now, wait til the other tempos bail and you are asked to work every day, that's when you should really worry

[Petal~flower]

aw thank you for that tilly. Yes, I do think I have done a good job with the children. I guess today, just reinforced how alone I am. Sorting everything out, and how long I have been doing all that ALONE. But thanks for your reply, it was really lovely xx

hi dot, no I dont want to let them down. Can you tell me though, do stores often take on temp staff on permanently after Christmas, as thats what I am hoping will happen. Preferably with slightly easier hours to deal with

[bigmamma]

Hello Petal~flower sweetie , sorry to see you feeling down , I guess it's easy for it all to hit you all at once at times when you are juggling a job and your childrens needs. When they are in bed and you are sat on your own with the magnitude of the responsibility you have shouldered for the last 9 years bearing down on you.
You must be a strong dependant person to have got this far. I hope your job will allow you flexitime to fit in with your children , and hope you will be offered to stay on if you like.
I hope you get on well , give yourself a big breath in and chin up chest out and feel as proud as you should :-) xx

[Petal~flower]

aw Bigmamma, yours and Tilly's replies both made me well up. Yes I am a strong and independent woman. Feels like I have been one forever! Sometimes I just want a good thing to happen, with out a negative attached, if you see what I mean.

Thank you for your lovely reply. You're smashing xx

[dot.hawkes]

yes they do petal, because it is a really good chance of them assessing your abilities to work under pressure, be enthusiastic and reliable, show your customer service skills, your time management, your reliability and above all, your value for money. They are not allowed to discuss child care arrangements with you by law, you do not need to tell them anything about your arrangements for the children, but I think it is a good way to learn very quickly about a company and it is easier to get a job if you are already in one.

[caz247]

hiya trinny

just wanted to say well done , you deserve it
if i lived near you would offer to babysit no probs

caz xx

[confused79]

Hi there,

Do totally know what you mean, i also am a mum of 4 and work full time, but my hours are 9 til 5 and i have a child minder, i often feel guilty about not spending enough time with them but i woudln t be able to give them what they need if i didnt work. Im not sure what hours you are supposed to work for this new job but im guessing they may be late nights?

Have you tried getting list of child minder as i do know some do child mind in evenings etc., or do you have an relatives that can help. Also if you use a child minder tax credits will give you between 70% 80% of this cost so that all helps. Dont give up jut yet yuo have done this on your own for 9 years and you can do this, just need to get some help, which is what you deserve.

I know how you fell sometimes i feel like throwing the towel in and saying 'i give up' someone else can do it, but then you look at your children and know why you do it.

God luck and dont give up, keep that chin up and think positive. x

[Petal~flower]

aw thanks caz xx

Hiya Legend, thanks for that. I will give it a go. Am really thinking long term, and how kids and I will all benefit xx

confused, its such a help to hear from someone in a similar situation. Before when I was working it was from 9-3, so I had no problems with picking kids up etc. Now as its temporary Christmas, the earliest I start is 1pm and finishes vary between 6 and 7 in the evening. Some 8 and 9 finished, and one at 10!

Anyway, I woke up this morning, and thought s*d it. I will give it my best shot...

and confused, I think the guilt thing is always there, if you work, you feel it, and if you dont work, you still do! xx

[Hellyon]

I bow to Dot's retail experience but sometimes employers make the assumption that there is a partner at home and the hours required are the evenings. Did the HR person seem sympathetic? Is it worth discussing the matter with them - a lot of companies now have policies for Work/Life Balance and it may be that you can both come to a suitable arrangement.

I hate to be a fly in the ointment but with the hours they have given you you seem unlikely to see much of your children..........realistically do you think you can cope with that?

[Petal~flower]

hi Hellyon. I think you are right, and employers often assume there is a partner/husband about. But no, my employers did not ask any personal details. Before I had the assessment, she said the hours would be 1-6, which I thought I could cope with, so said yes I would go ahead with the assessment, but after passing it, and told I had got the job, the Christmas rota came out, and all the very late nights were given me.

I should of said no, there and then, but I was really pleased to be offered the job, what with being a lone parent, and the thought of Christmas coming up, plus the need to get back into work. From what dot says, I doubt they would be flexible with the hours.

I will have to give it a go, and if it does get too much, then it will be my fault for accepting it I guess.

I just wish things could be straight forward sometimes.