Affair

[sooz07]

My dad thinks my mum is having an affair. He has seen a text message she sent to someone who is a relative of our family that suggests more than just friends. He noticed that there is a lot of mileage on her car. He found an address on the car's satellite navigation for an address down in Cumbria � we don't know anyone in Cumbria. My mum is very secretive with phone calls and where she is going to. She keeps her mobile phone on her all the time. My dad is certain that she is having an affair because he has mentioned it to my gran and she said that if its true she will never speak to my mum again. This is bad especially if it is with a relative. What do I do?

[caz247]

IF and it's a big IF your mum is having an affair then it's between her and your dad, it's really none of your business
and the fact he is checking her phone means he doesn't trust her much in my opinion

[Ice.Maiden]

I agree with the above answer, because there could be a very innocent explanation for your mum's behaviour. However, are you in a position to voice your fears to your mum? I'm sure she'd be able to re-assure you.

[VizNil]

Im surprised that your dad is discussing this with so many different people and not with the person concerened.

[Reverandfunk]

Why doesn't he just ask her?

Stating the obvious I know but if he's talking to other people she's going to hear about it second hand and personally if it was me i would go mad.

[mountainboo]

I actually feel that it is your business. When someone has an affair, there are far more people affected than the husband and wife. It sounds like he has become suspicious with very good reason, and is confiding in the people he loves (you).. It may all be completely innocent however I do suggest that your father gets to the bottom of this sooner rather than later as it must be affecting the relationship?
I'm affraid I was unfaithful to my partner of 10 years a few years back (something I deeply regret), but the keeping the mobile phone close all the time thing sounds very familiar to me as I always kept my phone with me and kept it on silent and would never let my partner see it. Thankfully a friend of my partners brother was aware of the affair and told my partner, something I am actually very grateful for now. There were I'm affraid to say, many people hurt as a result of the affair and that has to be the worst thing so it's important to find out what is going on. I truly appreciate my partner now and our relationship is very solid.
Good luck sooz07

[zebra]

Totally agree with Mountainboo, if your dad is confiding in you, then it is obviously your business. I hope it turns out to be nothing though! Be there for your dad. Then again probably hard on you too.

Perhaps not the right way but if it was me, I would wait and see what else turned up now that you are aware of it, be patient and then confront or ask her when you are almost certain.

If it is a family member, bits & pieces will fall into place with what other family tell you and you will be able to work out what is going on. Also if it is family chances are you have a good idea who, so rumbling them should be easier than if a stranger, whom you knew nothing about.

[Bohne]

My first question would be:
Why is your father checking your mothers mobile phone, mileage on the car and GPS?

He either has a reason to distrust her, or he is unreasonably jealous, which would explain, why he reads a lot into his findings....

Otherwise agree with the first posts.
It is really non of your business, and your father should discuss this with your mother, not with half the world!

[sooz07]

He only told me because he doesn't have anyone else to speak to about it whether he should speak to my mum or just forget about it. He also snooped because he had reason - the secrecy, phone calls etc. Now that he has told me it seems that he has forgotten about it because the pair of them are getting on as normal. You are right I shouldn't have known about it because now I am angry with my mum because she is acting normal without any guilt. It is up to my dad to speak to my mum and not me.