Good Morning all..........

[banjobabe]

Dont you just hate it when.....

My ex has just text me to say that he will not be meeting me as arranged on Saturday for me to pick up my daughter. I explained that I cannot afford pick her up from home and back to mine (360 mile round trip) and would he meet me half way. this was agreed. Now he says he's arranged to go away on Friday so I will have to collect her from her friends house.

The problem is I cannot afford to do this.

What do I do?

Any suggestions gratefully received.

BB xx

[legend758duo]

how old is she?
cant she get the train and you can meet her?
or isnt there someon copuld travel with her?
failing that a friend or good samaritan to give you lift there seems only option ?

[legend758duo]

btw banjo 758 in the dungeon now

had to change to this lol

[beryllium]

Hi BB,

Tell the silly irresponsible B A S T A R D that he will have to pay for your ticket, as you care enough for your daughter not to abandon her and want to get her back safely to you.

Her Mother!!!

He's planning to abandon his daughter??? wow!!!

Good Luck.

[redcrx]

can he not meet you halfway today instead?

[banjobabe]

Hey Leg,

Hope you are well?

She is 16 and I could have organised something if I had known earlier. The fact that he won't talk to me doesn't help. I rang him and said Hello and he put the phone down!

The problem is I have been doing both journeys for the last four years and I am fed up of having to do all the running around and organising. What annoys me is he decided to make arrangements to go away the day before he was supposed to be meeting me and now he expects me to change my plans.

Grrrrr

BB xx

[banjobabe]

Hey Berry & Red,

I would tell the silly Bast**d all sorts of things if he would speak to me lol.

Unfortunately I am at work today and tomorrow until 5pm have family arrangements up to Christmas Day. We arranged this weeks ago - I text him he didn't reply but my daughter said it was ok - unfortunately she has to be go between coz he won't talk to me!

So now I have made plans and he wants me to change them all. He wanted me to take time off work and collect her from Soham as that is where he is working.

Grrrrrrrrrrr


BB xx

[legend758duo]

not good on his part.
but at least shes 16.
so she can get bus train or even plane.
try to organise something.
is there any reason that she cant travel herself ?
im just wondering.

or is it just cos youre worried bout her ?

[banjobabe]

Hey Leggy,

I suppose she could travel alone, I know she's 16 but I do worry. You hear of so much stuff going on these days.

I know I should travel the whole way and collect her myself.

I decided to make a stand. he is always changing his mind about stuff and making my life more complicated.

I have always put her first and tried to do things to make her life easier - it has made his life easier also - I am not doing that anymore.

Ah well.

Merry Christmas, HO ho ho xx

[beryllium]

You could threaten him. ie: if anything happens to her getting back??? because of his ineptitude at care???......

He surely has an ounce of responsibility to protect his daughter and make sure she returns to you safely?

Seems ridiculous to use your daughter as a go between for two supposed 'adults'. (him that is)

What on earth does she think of him???

[banjobabe]

Hey Berry,

She knows he's a complete prat! She has lived with him for nearly four years now. He promised her the earth and she believed him, he's done nothing but let her down. He has 4 children now, he doesn't see his oldest two as they know what he's like. he bought a card for his eldest daughter but wouldn't let my daughter put her name on it as the card said daughter on the front!

His youngest is 3 and he has just split up from the mother and now is bed hopping and obviously taking his latest squeeze away for the weekend.

Wot a dick!

BB xx

[beryllium]

Can she not move back in with you hon? she's 16 now.

[banjobabe]

Hey Berry,

She can come home whenever she wants. She has all her friends up there and none down here. Her Dad threw her out in November saying he couldn't cope anymore. It was a real trial. I was up and down trying to mediate between them but he wouldn't budge, even tho she only had 8 months left at school! I arranged for her to stay with a friend so she could finish her schooling - if she'd moved down here she would have had to re-take yr 11. Anyway he didn't like that at all. He persuaded her to go back saying he would take parenting classes (lol). They completely removed me from any decision making and she went back to him. I told her that I was very upset and that he would not change. I also told her that if she was old enough to make those kind of decisions then she is also old enough to take the consequences.

She will now have to accept the consequences of living with a father who does not put the child first.

BB xx

[Skreecheeboy]

Hi Banjobabe. Can you get her put on a megabus? They're cheap as chips! It's only �12.50 from Edinburgh to London! www.megabus.co.uk

[Skreecheeboy]

BTW, I was in a similar situation as your daughter when I was 15. My step dad chucked me out half way through 4th year (GCSE equivalent year.) I was fortunate enough to be put up by a mate but had to sleep in a sleeping bag on his floor. Needless to say I didn't attend school much and got kicked out shortly after starting 5th year. I was surprised how well I did in my exams given the odds that were stacked against me, testament to good schooling I think! Hope everything works out ok for her! xx

[banjobabe]

Hey Skreech,

Cheers for that. She is doing so well at school. She wants to be a criminal psychologist, her father told her not to try and rise above her station!!!!

She will go far, she has a good head on her shoulders and is very mature for her age.

She knows that I will always be there for her but there's a limit!

BB xx

[Skreecheeboy]

No worries banjobabe. Just a wee hint that might make things a bit easier when she comes to see you - try not to bad mouth her dad in front of her! I used to get that from both sets of parents when I was younger and a kid really doesn't want to be stuck in the cross fire of verbal abuse, it just confuses them, improve relationships and I ended up resenting both sets of parents for a long time from being subjected to each one's abuse of the other for years. Don't let your feelings towards your ex interfer with your daughters as she will only end up resenting him too and if she lives with him then it's only going to cause her to rebel more and more until the two of them can't get on any longer. Let her form her own ideas about you both for herself!

[banjobabe]

thanx Skreech,

I don't need to bad mouth her Dad, if i give him enough rope he will hang himself lol

I have always done my best not to slag of her father as I would rather she made up her own mind about him. Like I say she's a good girl and she already has the measure of her Dad!

Unfortunately for her, she is very like me and her father holds that against her. She has a tendancy to argue every point and always wins arguments with her as she has a better grip of english than him!!

Thank you all for your kind words. I'm hoping that it will all work out ok but I'm not relying on it.

Merry Christmas to all.

BB xx

[banjobabe]

Hey Skreech,

I am over him but I don't think he is over me, he is still very bitter.

Even tho it was him that was unfaithful to me!!!

He sends me the odd million page text ranting and raving, I used to reply to him but I've now given up. The last time I replied I just sent - get over it!

BB xx