any suggestions

[helpinghand]

my grandmother was recently diagonsed with stage 4 lung cancer my mother is taking hard and any advise i can give her in keeping herself sane and keeping strong for my grandmother i have all ready suggested counseling but anything like words of encouargement that will be helpful to her this is the first time my mother has had to deal with any thing of this magnatude and i try to be there for her but im going to school and it is hard for me to be there when she needs me and im at school anything to get her through the day will be helpful?

[FUZZYBEE]

I'm very sorry to read this helpinghand, just try to be the wonderful caring child that you are to your mum, and tell your mum she has been the same to your nan. It's a wicked disease but you really only can take each day as it comes. And I hope someone is looking out for you too, you mustn't shoulder all this responsibility yourself.
good luck x

[ethandron]

if you google share.macmillan.co.uk you will find a lot of help there. there is also a forum where you can ask for, and receive, a lot of help when dealing with cancer and all the fall-out from it. i have only joined their forum this week, because of cancer in my family, and have had a lot of support already from people there. i hope this is of some help.

[HJT40]

Bless you helpinghand how thoughtful you are. It must help her enourmously knowing how much you care.

Macmillan Nurses are a good suggestion. Does your mum have any close friends who could pop in and see her while you are at school? May be you could leave her little notes around the house to find while you are not there that will make her smile?

It is very difficult, I lost my mum to lung cancer and there is not a lot you can say to anyone. Just be there for her, as you seem to be doing and she will come out of the otherside. The time I spent with my mum after diagnosis was to make her days as good as they could be, still laughing and joking and letting her know how loved she was. Sometimes I was on auto pilot.

Perhaps it may be an idea if you spoke to your head of year or someone at school so that they know what is happening. I am sure they will be understanding and may be able to give you the support you need too.

I am speaking as someone who has come out the otherside. You will get through it and so with your Mum. You obviously have a lot of love for each other and that, sometimes, is enough to see you through the hardest of times.

Good luck, you are in my thoughts.

[helpinghand]

thank you for your advise i'm hoping for the best and i have told my mom that she should take my grandmother on a cruise i think that it will help to get their minds off everything but she will be starting chemo next week and won't be feeling up to going any where i hope that my reserch on cancer will help my mom and grandmother i have found something called zeolite and they are going to show it to the doc. today and see what he has to say about it. it supposely kills only the cancerous cells maybe it will work

[Whoever]

Confronting the final stages of cancer is always very emotionally difficult for surviving loved ones and all you can do is support your mother emotionally with as much affection and understanding as you can, and hopefully also give her some extra help around the house, as she's probably finding it very difficult to carry on with normal life at the moment. Nobody will be able to prepare your mother for seeing your grandmother in the final stages because, even with strong medication, it is not always pleasant to see. I don't think taking your grandmother on a cruise is really a good idea. She won't be feeling well and if her condition suddenly and quickly deteriorates, as it may well do, there will not be sufficient medical care available to give her the pain relief she might need., as well as all the possible extra stress of getting her home in an emergency, either alive or dead. Probably being supported by Macmillan nurses in the comfort of her own home would be the less stressful environment for your grandmother, and also for your mum too. Just keep up the hugs and the emotional support for both of them.

[helpinghand]

thank you whoever for your support and i know that a cruise is not the best thing for them its just that i want to see them happy even if its for a little bit my mum is so stressed out and i know that stage 4 is the worst my great grandmother went through the same thing and my grandmother was the one taking care of her and now its my mums turn to take care of her mum we have seen a loved one die from this already i was about 9 yrs old at the time and now at 25 i have to live it again its hard very hard to see the ones you love pass in such a hard way that some times you want to run and hide but you know you can't because you have to be there for them the way they where there for you as a child and as an adult its just so hard to see her pass this way after seeing her (grandmother) deal with her own mothers death from the same thing.