Depression setting in?

[nigella]

i know my problems are insignificant compared to the more severe problems going on in the world, and that i should be thankful for all the good in my life, but i think i may be getting depressed. i'm having trouble sleeping, finding it difficult to concentrate and get upset quite easily. my worries are with my fertility and i think the problem is not being able to talk about it, especially with people close to me. its getting more difficult and painful to hear that another friend or family member is pregnant.. i need hope which is in short supply at the moment. can anyone relate to this? is there hope?

[Ice.Maiden]

Nigella - there are lots of lovely people on here who may be able to help you better than myself, but I've got friends in the same position, and friends who HAVE been - so please take heart with that. x

[jno]

well, it could be depression; but (I suggest this from time to time) it may be simply your response to an individual problem. In that case it's the problem rather than your understandable sadness that really needs tackling. There are treatments for infertility; have you seen your GP? Apologies if you've already been through this stage; I'm not trying to gloss over your unhappiness, just thinking it may be a symptom rather than the root problem.

[shanx]

oh ! nigella you wouldnt believe the number of people i know in your position , that have gone through this its not the end of the world , you need to put it at the back off your mind , carry on with life , if it happens it happens if not look back on your friends and think well maybe it was for the best please dont dwell on it there are lots more in your position than you think xx

[nigella]

thank you ice maiden, jno, shanks. i know i'm not alone and that there are a lot of people going through the same thing, but it still hurts. i've always loved and wanted children, and as the years tick by, it looks less likely to happen. i've tried fertility drugs without success, i've got one more go at the drugs, the next step being an operation, which scares the hell out of me!

[Ice.Maiden]

Presumably they've checked you for PCOS? It's one of the most common reasons for not being able to conceive quickly. My friend had it, had a little laser op - and was pregnant really soon afterwards! x

[shanx]

what kind of operation are you talking about , know about all the fertility and and acupunture , but havent heard of operations

[Ice.Maiden]

See above, Shanx - or nigella might even be referring to IVF when she mentioned ops.

[nigella]

yes, i have pcos, and the operation is ovarian drilling, like ice maiden said its lasers to pierce holes into the ovaries in the hope that an egg can be released. my consultant also said that if that fails, IVF is always an option. but time is ticking away, i'll be 28 this year, i know thats not old, but if the drugs fail, then theres the wait for the op, then if that fails, the wait for IVF, its such a long time to wait, and although i try to be positive it gets to me, like last night when i posted the question. i was having a low moment! its helping to talk to someone so thank you ice maiden and shanx

[andy-hughes]

First things first - depression is not in any way linked to an individual's circusmstances. It doesn't matter how you count your blessings, or tell yourself other people are better off, depression can still hit you - that'd 'depression' which is a clinical illness, not 'being depressed' which is part of the human condition.

I think from your posts that you are depressed about this single issue, which is bringing you down, and you are strugling.

Have a word with your GP about an appropriate help group in your area. If he can't help, phone the Samaritans, who have access to a lot of help groups and can put you in touch with one, even if it's by phone.

I hope you can get the pregnancy you so badly desire - stay in touch, there are lots of helpful empathetic souls on here who can help you in your 'down' times.

[nigella]

Thanks andy, your spot on with depression! i know i want a child, and i also know that its not the be all and end all of life, theres always adoption, but at the moment i'm just feeling like a bit of a failure as a woman. i'm hoping that this mild depression wont develop into full blown depression requiring medication, i'm not a fan of anti-depressants, but like you suggested, i will investigate the support groups option.

and angel, i would very much appreciate that link and be able to talk to others in the same situation, which i know there are many people. i know i'm not alone in this,but i am feeling alone right now. talking about it is just what i need right now. thank you x

[nigella]

thanks angel, the link worked fine, so i'm going to take some time to go through the posts on there, much appreciated xx

[Ice.Maiden]

Nigella - I promise you that even though you feel your age is going against you, I very much doubt it. I'm talking ladies in their late 30's and even 40's, who I personally know. Everything must just seem to be taking a lifetime, when you're wanting a child so much. I hope your depression doesn't get any worse, and wish you the best of luck with what you really want - x