life litle questions......

[breezyman]

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? What is the speed of darkness? Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours? Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics? If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out? Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum. Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing !!!

[Postdog]

Why don't you use paragraphs? I gave up........

[brian j john]

i don't know , tell me why

[rescuer]

Yes, I, too, watched Rick Wakeman quote these on Countdown in February.

[Therema]

This is the first time ive been in the jokes section here and i cant read anymore cos i cant see ive laffed so much im crying LOL thank you its made my night

[Goldspot]

I think Rick Wakeman must be a Peter Kay fan.
Some more of his life questions.
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your
@rse?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing
you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I 'm an alcoholic'?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?