judicial review!!!! fao.legend and knobby!

[gonzo00]

ladies,if your easily offended DO NOT read this post!
have been making a stunning 6 metre stainless steel,glass and teak balcony for a large country house which is lived in by a lady judge...no hubby...anyway,went to fit the said balcony today and met the lady just as she was leaving for court and got the house keys etc.
this lady would be around 60 and quite stern.
as we have pretty much cleared up all of our work in the workshop i took along all of the guys to help. as the guys were moving the balcony into place myself and two apprentices went to the bedroom to open the soon to be balcony doors and help fix everything into place from above.
we had to move the ladys rather large and heavy bed to get acess to the doors and what we found under the bed shocked us to the core...a pile of the most hardcore porno mags i've ever seen and.......an exact size latex replica of a mans arm.....complete with bendy fingers that had been arranged into a clenched fist!!!!
well,before i could do anything one apprentice was beating the other about the head and body with the "arm",shouting "take my fist fat boy,you know you want it!!! it was only then that we noticed that the fist was still damp and...ahem...a bit fragrant indicating that it had seen very recent action! honestly,if you could see this lady you would never belive it was hers!
anyway..to the punchline,i went to get the guys wages at lunch time and told the guys to put everything back as it was as we had now finished the job........only later as we were making our way home i noticed a lot of giggiling in the back of the van. turns out that the two little sh1ts,knowing that i have to go back to collect the cheque,have not left the arm in its original position but rising up from between the pillows on the ladys bed like some symbol of defiance....bas**rds!!!!
think i'll just send her an invoice!
ps. what the hells that fisting thing all about????

[knobbynonuty]

O fking ell gonzy I cant read all that cant you condence it or mp3 it and well whattever.

Kin ell matey

[gonzo00]

legend..do you ever sell anything like that...i mean this thing was a monster...surley thats gotta hurt????

[jacko50]

i know the question was not fao me but do you think that a judge is any differant from the rest of society? she is human therefore why are you shocked , would it have been ok if she worked in tesco's for instance.

[knobbynonuty]

I have just taken the tiime to read that and think I will read it when I am srber but oh whell whatever you tried and I apreasheatite that gonzny you are ok on here you have got my junesa quoie what the fruck is that .

Ya muppet and I mean that in the nicest possible taste

[gonzo00]

jacko..i don't give a flying fcuk if she's a judge or a coalman...i'm just shocked at the fact that someone a,sticks something like that up thier whatever and b,leaves it laying about to be used as a weapon by my apprentices....theres gotta be a health and saftey issue there.

[jacko50]

gonzoOO , sorry health and saftey never even entered my head please forgive me i was not thinking, i was to busy visualising her with the aforesaid item stuck right up her never you mind.

[unrulyjulie]

oh i say, me being a "real" lady and all, im blushing slightly here ;-)

[Drisgirl]

Gave up -sorry -i usuually give chapter and verse but not an effing autobigraphy -bless ya -lol !!!

[pastafreak]

ummmmm....maybe it is a replica of someone she knows??

[gonzo00]

no probs legend..think the young guys from work are still tittering!

[gonzo00]

pasta..if it is..he's got hands like shovels!

[DONNAKEBABUK]

That is HILARIOUS. I once saw one of those in a shop call Saints and Sinners in Blackpool and wondered what the hell it was for.

That post has just had me in bits laughing.

Well done !

Katie. x

[DONNAKEBABUK]

Gonzo. On a second thought, you could perhaps 'twist someones arm' on here to post you a link to FISTING. I cant do it as it is my little girls computer.

PMPL REALLY PMPL !

Katie. x

[Louisa 69]

maybe that's what they mean when they refer to the strong arm of the law :)

[gonzo00]

to be honest DONNA i dont think it would be my kinda thing,it amazes me what people get up to these days!:)

[weeal]

that is quite funny, and doesnt surprise me

a few rich n famous folk have killed themselves with auto-erotic asphixiation - thats gotta be the ultimate affrontment

nutcases

[DONNAKEBABUK]

Gonzo. I once read in a book called Tied and Teased that people actually go to these S & M Parties and they have dental chairs there so people can have their teeth pulled out as a sexual thrill.

UGH ! Picture the scene.

Katie. x