love

[kinky_kaz]

if he sayshe loves you how do you believe him?

[RUKiDdiNG?!?]

u dont.

[smudge]

Could you rephrase the question please?

[kinky_kaz]

i said,if he says he loves uhow can u believe him how do u no he is bein honest

[smudge]

As you are asking, you obviously doubt him. Only 'you' can answer this question.

[smudge]

It's all down to pure instinct. If you believe he loves you, then he does. If you doubt him, there must be a reason for it. We don't know you or him, so as I said only you an tell.

[smudge]

*can

[kinky_kaz]

thnks 4 answering my Question, i dont doubt him, just ive bein hurt in the past many times and i dont want him 2 b anotha 1 who hurts me

[smudge]

Ah, I do sympathise with you kinky_kaz, in fact I've got tears in my eyes. Are you worried that once you get to the physical bit, he'll drop you? My husband had to wait six months before I would go that far, mainly because I was afraid. But he was very patient & I knew when the time was right. We've been married many years now, so it was worth waiting for. Love can be a very confusing word at times, give it time.

[kinky_kaz]

no no nothing to do with physically emotionally im scared incase he ***** with my head n messes me about like the rest of them has u no wot i mean plus his ex is on da prowl i dunno wot 2 do weather 2 leave him 2 it or stand up

[smudge]

Would it help if you had a break from the relationship, to sort out your feelings. Maybe you went into this relationship too quickly, after a failed one.

[msmode]

Has he any reason to say he loves you if he doesn�t? For example, so that you will stay with him after he has hit you or so you will give him money or so you will have sex with him? Does he show consistent love for you by his actions, by always treating you with kindness and respect and never abusing you? If he has no reason to lie and his actions match his words, then he is probably genuine. If not, then he is dangerous and you�d be better off alone.

[DOB]

The first thing I want to say is don't listen to idiots like RUKiDdiNG (and the other people who responded to you question very nastily in People & Places) AB is full of people who actually want to help you. As the previous respondents say, you need to think if there is any reason why he might be saying he loves you. Given that your reply to smudge is in txt speak I presume that you are quite young. I'm guessing here that you may not gone as far sexually as he would like you to. Don't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to. If he truly loves you, he won't want to lose you by pressuring you into anything. As smudge says, there is probably a reason why you aren't sure that he loves you. Trust your instincts - they are your best friends and are usually right. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you but just be careful.

[IndieSinger]

It's in his kiss. (Oh-woh-woh).

[tartanwiz]

You'll know by his actions, overall behaviour and things he says and does. You'll just know.

[flashpig]

That's rubbish that you'll just know. People can be paranoid, I'm not saying that you are mad or anything, but if you've been hurt in the past it's kinda natural that you will have doubts. Instincts can be wrong. Trust them if you want, but people who swear by their instincts must only be remembering those that turn out to be right. Equally some people can be good liars. Pfft. Who knows? Do you love him?

[smudge]

Just listen to flashpig & you'll go very far I'm sure. I expect you are even more confused now, as he/she thinks it isn't down to instincts & that some of us liars, you might as ignore all sensible answers!

[smudge]

*are

[flashpig]

What is wrong with doubting instinct? "As you are asking, you obviously doubt him. Only 'you' can answer this question." Surely if only one person is able to answer this it is him or 'him'. To believe him requires a fair bit of trust and faith. You say if you doubt him there must be a reason. I'm guessing that in the past your instincts lead you to doubt someone who ended up betraying you. You ended up muttering to yourself "why oh why smudge did I not listen to my instincts? I KNEW something was up!" The thing is, I'll bet you doubted and questioned and worried about every partner, it's just these doubt become the magic instinct with hindsight. Perhaps I shouldn't have said maybe he is a liar - a bit cruel of me if kinky kaz is really worried - but maybe he is. But does she love him?

[kinky_kaz]

i am 19 he is 22 we met ova friends, hit it off straight away, he is lovely always treats me kind, always sending me sopy txt's fones me wen he is at work or wen i am at work before he goes 2 bed etc... i Do love him honestly but he was in a five yr relationship before we started out, and im worried that he thinks he has to rush in to saying he loves me if he is not ready 2 say it afta the 5 yr relationship.

[cwr]

Did he end the five year relationship?