Dont know what to do??

[beck07]

Hi everyone, i have known this girl who lives in my flats for a few months now and she has a little girl who is 2 and her boyfriend lives with her aswell. Her boyfriend is a druggy and can get violent with her and today i see her and she had a huge fat lip and said that he had been beating her up because she threw his newspaper away. her litle girl was there and witnessed this and im very worried for them both. I told her to pack her stuff and come to mine and stay but she said she couldnt leave him. She wont tell the police because she doesnt want social services getting involved. What can i do as i am very worried about her little girl and her???????

[daffy654]

Report him to the police,I had to do this with my next door neighbour last year.The police didn't do much but it was taken out of their hands when the drunken idiot had a massive stroke and now he can't even wash himself never mind lift a hand to his wife.

[spaced]

Think of the little girl, who may one day be at the wrong end of one of his out bursts. Report it to the police, baring in mind that they may know it was you seeing as you have already involved yourself.

Social services may get involved but wouldnt remove the child from the mum, if she agreed to cut all ties with this bloke. They would if she remained with him.

Hitting a woman for any reason is unacceptable and scum like that need their throats slit. end of.

Tell me where this is an i'll fcuking sort the tw@t out....it really rages me!

[beck07]

I did today, i see them walk in then they walked straight back in within 10 mins!! My friend was telling me unless she tells the police about the violence they cant do anything! even tho she has bruises and a huge fat lip! Im supposing she just told them she fell into a wall or something! I am so scrared for her kid tho- she is only 2 and is witnessing her mum getting beaten!! its sick and i have no idea how to help!

[andrea81]

We do have a duty of care to make sure that we don't just watch things happen and do nothing! This man could quite easily start on the child aswell, a 2 year old is no match for a drugged up man!

I wouldn't hesitate! If social services gets involved, surely it will be for the right reasons!

[beck07]

The first thing i doen when she told me is tried kicking her door in to get to him- i could of killed him!! but he wasnt there, he quite happily just went in to town for half hour while she bleed everywhere in front of her poor child!! i have tried and tried and tried but i dont know if she is ready to leave him- she knows she can stay here with the child so why wont she?????

[andrea81]

Sorry was typing when you replied, well as a mother she should be taking her child out of the situation as it could be harmful! I'd keep a watchful eye and report an incident as it's happening!

[merciasounds]

Be very careful waht you're getting yourself into, my cousin tried to help her neighbour and was threatened with a syringe full of blood when she came home one night. BUT saying that, I would be worried for the kiddie. Thing is, you can't help somebody who doesn't want help. It's all very well for her to say she doesn't want the social services involved BUT the child's welfare should come first. This is what I'd do. Ring the police yourself next time you hear she's been used as a punchbag, you can do this annoymously via crimestoppers. They might prosecute him with or without her consent. The child should be put on 'watched' list - a report should be sent to the Social services at least. If she then comes banging on your door complaining about interfering, you can deny it - you can always say I offered you help, you refused it, is't my fault other's hear your fights too

[4getmenot]

sorry but not much you can do if she is stupid enough to not leave him espacielly when she has a 2yr old to look out for. But also do you know all sides of story, what is she like towards him?

[spaced]

dont involve yourself to much into it, as you will surely be dragged into this whole situation head first.

Just read our posts....report it.

[beck07]

That is what was going through my head, because i have a baby myself, i don't need her crazy crack head boyfriend at my door with my baby in here- as much as i would quite easily floor the ******* the point is my child doesnt need that sh*t!

[beck07]

Well she tells me she hits him back but i doubt this very much as she is tiny and he isnt! When i phoned the police to report him i told them everything i could think of that i know about and about the child being there to witness it and he still wasnt nicked! they need her to report him which i cant see her doing! He is on bail at the moment for death by dangerous driving and has been told to expect no less than 4 years when he is in court so i suppose thats a good thing!!

[spaced]

yes but anything can happen between no and when he gets sentenced.

[andrea81]

Oh he sounds like a catch!!!

Well being locked up will at least give her a reason to break away! If she is wise, she;ll up and leave without a trace!

[beck07]

i hope she does find the strength to leave him he is a no good waste of space and she needs to realise 4 her self and her child!! How many times will i have to report him before they take me seriously??

[4getmenot]

she says she hits him back, I guess they are both as bad as eachother and you have a child yourself I;d stay out of it

[andrea81]

Agree with 4get,

You do still have to put you and your child first when it comes to safety. But obviously if you are wittness to a crime, you should report it, but I wouldn't get physicaly involved!

[theonlyone]

Next time he starts on her call 999 and
if there is a child involved they will be there..
in minutes ... be a friend and look out for her ...
that's alll you can do ...

[daffy654]

I just wanted to add that the police have the power to prosecute the man without a report or statement from the victim.If you keep phoning them or crimestoppers every time he beats her each incident will be logged and they will be forced to act.

[beck07]

I will definatly do that, i just dont want trouble at my door my child comes first and doesnt need to see or hear and crazy crack heads! thanks for all your answers!

[4getmenot]

You don�t know what goes on behind closed doors. For your own sefety keep out of it. I watched a woman get beaten one night and stepped in, I called got police but bloke ran home and held his own children hostage with a gun, the very next day I gave a statement, the following week the wife dropped all charges and went back to him. You cant help people that wont help themselves.