verbalising my disatisfaction at my boss in front of others

[evedawn]

Things have been pretty stressful at work for some time and everyone without exception has been grumbling about how disatsified they are. Anyway today I got into a conversation with my manager and before I knew it I had verbalised how I , and the others felt.

I was not agressive, but quite assertive. Anyway my manager is a bit of a bully and didn't enjoy it.

What I'd like to know is do you think I should go to her tomorrow and apologise NOT for what I said, or HOW I said it but rather apologise and say that that was not the time to bring it up (it was in front of another staff member)
PS - I have bought up these point in our appraisal a few months back but it got brushed overt

What do you think?
Apologose? or let it be and act like notthing has happened?

Also what pees me off is that I was saying these things whilst my colleague who has been grumbling louder than alot of others just stood there schtuum...making me look like I am the onl;y one who feels this way (grrr - rant)

[pingping]

personally I would ask to have a one-to-one with her and do exactly what you suggested - not apologise for what you said, but just the timing of it. perhaps if you explain your frustration at nothing having changed since your appraisal if might go some way to explain your outburst.

[IggyB]

take the british way and ignore it - by going to your manager to apologise etc it will just seem like you are having another moan and your boss will prob react this time as you are not in front of others ...

[figure]

I agree with Iggy. Your manager might take notice of it this time and you could end up holding the s h i t t y end.
Let sleeping dogs lie.

[evedawn]

Thanks for your input all 3 of you - i know I shouldn't dwell on this but hey just cos my manager is unproffessional doesn't mean i should be right? so although 2 out of 3 said just forget it and let sleeping dogs lie I'm kinda feeling like i oughta just admit to her that it wasn't the time or place to verbalise by disatisfaction...but i won't apologise for WHAT i said.

PS - i admit to being swayed "more than a little" by the fact that she is the sort of woman that if someone offends her she will go out of her way to make things difficult ....oi ay...she's a right piece of work she is!

thanks all....your different views always much appreciated.

[helpmetoo]

you could always divert moaning time towards getting a new and better job

[sue11]

Hi Evedawn, most bullies enjoying wielding power over people and you run the risk that if you apologise, even if it is not for what you said, that you will simply place her in a position of power over you. I would consider how she would have reacted if it had been her doing that to you. If you feel she would not have offered an apology, then don't offer one to her, if you feel that she would be big enough to apologise then do so. I feel that you did nothing wrong and possibly you are in a stronger position at the moment because you made it clear how you feel about things. I would think long and hard before you take any further steps.
Best of luck, Sue.
PS. Let us know what you decide or decided to do.

[evedawn]

hi all -

my manager was super pleasant to me today (!!!) - "bend over backwards" pleasant. in fact i get the idea that maybe she was a bit intimidated by ME ...not alot of folk stand up to her!

As she was beeing big enough to be nice i decided not apologise as such, but conceded that when the conversation took a turn i should've asked her to continue it in her office instead of in front of another colleague. It made me feel more professional.

It does not change my opinion of her a a bully or as an ineffective manager but was interesting to see how she reacts when someone stands up to her...

They say thats the best way with bullies don't they? stand up to 'em?

PS sue - no she would NEVER have apologised if the roles were reversed (pretty darn sure)


thanks all for your advice

[sue11]

Fantastic, well done for handling it so well, I am pretty sure that she will think twice before opening her mouth to you in future and if she does, then you know how to react to her!
A lot of bullies back down when people stand up to them don't they? I have worked with a few unfortunately, as most of us have.
Well glad it turned out so well for you.
Cheers
Sue