am i an useless girlfriend?

[richee]

im in one year relationship and living with my boyfriend now. my boyfriend always flirt with girls by texts and emails, we had argue about it, but he said he is doing it all the time and he wont do anything pysically. he is watching porn all the time, which i understand most men do this. but he is keeping the porn video of himself and his ex girlfriend, and plans to show it to people at work. he also posted their porn pictures on website. he asked me before he did that, i said up to you, then he really did it. today when i open our laptop, found lots old sex pictures from him and his ex, i cant control myself to get upset. i deleted them from the pc now.
does that mean he is not happy with me or our sex life not as excited as he expected? he always says he loving me, but is that really important for a man to keep the sex video with his ex. im sure there is nothing left between him and his ex, however, it is still upseting me. how would you react to this situation if happens to u?

[squarebear]

He would be shown the door immediately if I were you.

Why would he be keeping a porn vid of him and his ex if he were in love with you? Time to get rid I say.

[funnygirl]

I certainly would get rid of him.

His actions are way out of order and he does not care that he is upsetting you!!

What a cad!

[popsickle]

oh my god!
what a TOOOL!!!
no wonder ur upset
no ur not a useless gf.... he's a useless tw@t boyfriend.
im sorry but i don't think that even if he stopped, you wouldn't be paranoid he's still doing this stuff behind your back init?
he would be GONE defo.... ripped up and chucked away with the rest of the bacterial crap in the bin....
what a ****** though, i moan at my boyfriend for 1 % of this stuff, like his ex bird waved at him the other day and he waved back, and i went mad! so imagine if my fella was acting this way, I'd have him in 4 pieces in the back of my mini on the way to the nearest resevoir.
u need to sort him out bird, and find a man who will make you happy, not a disrespectful, pi$$ taker like this fool.
can u imagine spending the rest of your life like this???
ditch him
x x x x x x x

[richee]

he is watching porn all the time, enjoy all the dirty jokes. he said receiving girls texts making him feel good. he promised he would never cheat on me and he doesnt think texts, emails flirting is cheating.
i guess some porn video made by person self could really turn the peron on?

[naky-nag-nat]

Yep... get rid... you deserve to be treated with more respect.

[richee]

i hate to say i love him in bits. and i have been brain washed gradually, i was furious first about his flirting texts, angry again next time, till the end when i found them i just ignore them. i do feel i am useless person.

[naky-nag-nat]

Tell me to s0d off, but with his current attitude, it'll only be a matter of time before he does cheat.

[naky-nag-nat]

And you ARE NOT a useless person ;o)

[squarebear]

You're not a useless person but he is treating you as one and you need to seriously think about getting rid of this lowlife.

[popsickle]

well if your goin to let him take the pi$$ and know he's treatin u like a fool then theres not very much anyone can say to you.
you know where the problem is
u know it is a problem
and you know you can do better
grow some balls and sling him
coz u don't seem to have very high self esteem and it seems to me he's caused that
xxxxxxxxx

[richee]

yeah, i feel my selfesteem lower and lower since we been together, i always hold hope we will be ok. but the hope is less and less now. i can afford to move out either.

[richee]

i cant afford i meant.

[popsickle]

mmmmm
chain saw......
4 black bin bags....
transport.....
balaclava.......


ya get me

[CAJ1]

I couldn't afford to leave my ex but you manage. I had to pay 1 months rent and deposit up front (�700) which left me with less than �200 for food/transport etc for the rest of the month. I only had my clothes too, no furnishings. I now have a house full of things, it's possible to get by.

[jno]

it doesn't matter whether he thinks flirting is cheating or not. The important thing is whether YOU think it is. You obviously do. In your shoes, so would I. And I'd be putting them on and walking out if I were you... I know it's not easy, and you do seem to have problems with self-esteem, which only you can tackle. But staying with him will only make things worse. Whatever you decide, the best of luck; it won't be easy either way.

[Athley]

Hi richee - no you are not a useless girlfriend !! But you have unfortunately found a completely useless boyfriend - it's not wierd that you'd feel this way it's human nature. Who on earth would want to see pics of their boyfriend with another woman!! He is totally out of order 100% particularly with keeping pics of his ex on the pc !!! That is just cruel. If it was me and he didn't agree to delete these items himself and continued to sent text and e mails to other women I would definitely leave. You don't deserve to be treated with such disrespect. Good luck x

[Octavius]

If this situation happened to me, I would be kicking myself for letting it go on for as long as it has, but then I would realise this is not the kind of relationship I want to be in, and get out of it before it destroys my self-respect completely.

I think we all agree that the behaviour you have identified is unacceptable in a relationship and that you should end it.

Up to you now.

[richee]

thanks guys for replies, justback from myself, took my mind off it abit. during the driving , i have been thinking, why would i get upset and call myself useless and i havnt done anything wrong apart loving him????
the only thing could destory myself is losing my selfesteem.
our relationship is complicated, i can't walk out right now,but i will bear in mind now im the only person can take care of myself , what i should do now is to treat myself better and build up my own life.

[richee]

sorry meant to say just back from my driving lessons. lol cant type properly now

[naky-nag-nat]

Good for you... and good luck!