alcoholism

[clydeserani]

I have just discovered that my partner has been an alcohlic for over 20 years...how do i help him to have the courage to stop drinking before it kills him...

[ELVIS68]

20 years?....you never noticed anything then?

[slugmonkey]

how long have you been a partner?

[Drisgirl]

Alcoholics hide it well -just ask Leg -he seems to think I am on the juice on here altho privately he knows i'm not !!

Anyway -its possible -a lot of people lead normal lives but are dependant daily -usually come night time -an alcoholic is not stereotyically a jaikie lying in the gutter with white lighning -my advice would obviously to attempt to at least recognise it and try to get him to cut bak initially -if he can maintain that then he should be OK but if continues to lapse then he has to come off totally -its down to whether it manages you or you can manage it -thats the difference.
Try that with him first see how he gets on -it may not be as bad as it seems -time will tell tho .Good Luck x

[wee willie]

aw dris
leg aint that bad
he strikes me as a pretty good guy in all reason

[clydeserani]

I have been with this guy since January..we don't live together so it has taken a while for me to fully realise the situation...I have had a few clues along the way but it is only within the past month that the penny has finally dropped...I have convinced him to go see his doc, which will happen next week..getting him to admit to me that he is an alcoholic is one of the hardest things I have ever done..his family have known for years but have never offered to support him, instead they have condemned him and made him feel even more **** than he already does.I have tried over the past few weeks to get them to understand a wee bit about addiction and how it affects people, i think I am getting through to them slowly..I need help to be able to help him to save himself before it is too late.

[Drisgirl]

Yip until he gets a bee in his bonnet -then he is a pain in the arse and heres one who wont knuckle down to him and his bullying and threats -he doesnt have the bloody monopololy on which threads I read on here so he shouldnt stand in judgement -end of !!

[ELVIS68]

How can you not tell though, surely the smell of it gives it away?
A bloke at work has a couple of cans at home before he comes to work and turns up with a mouthful of polo mints which fans it around even more

[dabees]

Dris and Willie, Move your petty arguments elsewhere, this is clydeserani's thread. It deserves to be taken seriously.

Sorry to interrupt clydeserani.

[ELVIS68]

FFS dris..drop the legend bashing, ok he`s not everyones cuppa tea, but is it really called for to bring it up on every thread?

[terambulan]

Now you've discovered his secret.....run, as fast and as far as u can. That's the best way to cure him. Break the relationship!

When you have found yourself someone more worthy he will see the error of his ways. If he loves you more that the booze, sobriety will kick in. Good luck!

[clydeserani]

Hey Elvis, I dont live with my partner so it has taken a long time for the jigsaw to come together..my advice to you is to tell the guy at your work work that you and others are aware that he is drinking on the job beofre he gets to the stage that my bloke is at....several folk are keeping note of when he is under the influence at work...I reckon the fact that nobody has challenged him about it makes him think all is well, therefore he doesnt have a problem cause he can drink and still hold down a job....

[Drisgirl]

Here dabees -I gave a very well reasoned response -I didnt invite willie to come on and say what he did -that was bang outta order.
What I said in my post was a well reasoned response despite what you may think -I take exception to that !!

Like you will bother but right to reply !

[China Doll]

You're on a dangerous path here and need to be careful. Addicts (any kind) can not be saved and are manipulative by definition. It is usually only when they hit rock bottom or are in grave danger of doing so that help is saught and I strongly believe has to be done off their own back and the only thing anyone should do is point them in the right direction.

As to how you can not know. There's a term known as functioning alcoholic and the stereotype of a beer for breakfast is not always the case.

[dabees]

My answer was to you both, it still stands.

[wee willie]

dabees me mate full o sh as usual
read the news
i was just having a casual conversation with dris
as was going fine
think leg could try and curb it a bit though much as i like him

[snow.maiden]

Some alcoholics hide the fact very well, but i can't believe that a partner's the last to know!!

[dabees]

Then go to a thread of his Willie, why contaminate other threads?

[Drisgirl]

Elvis just for the record at approx 4.30 this afternoon he accused me of being drunk when i had just parked my car up and I was sitting her cathing up after a hectic day -now that nonsense perpetuates urban myths and was out of order -so therefore thats why I started my post with that comment as its unfaur to basically call someone a lush when he know prvately I rarely touch it.

I am sorry clydserani -I did try to give you some advice but they have crawled out the woodwork when they saw my name mentioned. -over to you Dabees the stage is set ...........

[China Doll]

I've just had a thought actually.... Alcoholics Annoynimous (sp) have a service for the family members adn partners of alcoholics and I think it might be benneficial to you to speak to them too. Just google them and you'll get the number.

Good luck to you but please remember that you can not save an addict, only support them and sometimes supporting them means letting them go. They really do have to do it themselves. I hope it all works out for you.

[dabees]

FFS Dris, i'm not having a personal dig. I was asking you and Willie to move your argument to a neutral thread. Not clydeserani's thread.